Everyman's WEEKLY Journal #89
© 2014 Rev. David Seacord
November 30, 2014
Continuing the Thanks & Giving…
Hello again good beautiful souls. As I wait for the words to be given, my mind reaches out to each of you. I am present to a deep gratitude… that you hold a space in your life for my growing process. You give me the profound gift of being a listening for my truths to be expressed. It is not a small thing you give me… I am clear you are integral to my development….to 'my' purpose being fulfilled in this life. You mirror for me myself as you, as I do the same for you. I shudder to consider not having this relationship with you, this regular writing you responsibility I created from nothing years ago…. now calling me to again pour through these keystrokes these reports of the journeys I am being called upon… to descend to my deepest depths and face my most 'real' fears, and at the same time, rise above them all… to discover my greatest stature as a being Empty of Myself. I know I am not at all unique in this… I know you also travel the same journey with me. Still, this evenings fullness would not be complete if I did not express this love to you.
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The day and the weeks just past has been a whirlwind of miracles. In my last report I had just sent off into its first destiny stop the legal writing I had spent the previous month birthing. In regards to that destiny progress story, at this point I am just waiting, and have heard nothing except being told via my inquiring phone call that yes, the brief was received and filed on November 17th. So I am in the calm eye of the hurricane perhaps, or perhaps on the precipice of a miracle. In any case, for now, it is released.
After a couple days of catching up on sleep, my painting career called me back to 'reality'. The priority was and is simple-- now that I no longer can count upon a very significant annual financial support check being earned from my longtime LDS piano tuning contract (which, after 35 years, I suddenly lost to an obviously uninvited lower bidder as previously reported) I must now create a complete livelihood from my artistic skills. Or, so it has been seeming….but we'll get to that….
So, after getting my head organized around what needed to be done, I began focusing on putting my business plans into action. I finished several drafts of my 'Independent Art Representative' contract and ran them (one by one as created and recreated from her edits) across the desk of a very contract-savvy LA woman-friend who is in the art business. As it neared completion, I also tested it on some of the prime initial candidates for the 'franchise opportunity' and it flew well. And, as part of my business plan has to do with leasing instead of selling a lot of my larger more valuable works, I also wrote and rewrote many drafts of the actual Art Lease Contract…in the same process and manner as just described.
Further, as the local quasi-museum Yuma Art Center and I have been discussing for over a year the possibility of them being a "Leased Art" outlet for me, I got in touch with them and, with their OK, began to assemble a selection of work to take to them. Then, 'somehow' I got inspired and 'over-created' the load of art that I was taking them. Yesterday, when I delivered all 60 +/- pieces to them, at first it looked like I had gone way overboard and would have to bring most of it home. But then, a few unplanned and unscripted things happened. First, I SHOWED the art center Director all the art. That was a miracle in itself, because he actually was very busy, yet he took the time. And that shifted things, as he liked the art a lot. With him now WANTING the art, we put our heads together to try to cut a deal without breaking the museum house rules. At that point a phone call came in for him. When he returned I was informed that the call had been from the curator of the show that was just then coming into the Art Center, and that the curator of that show DID NOT WISH TO USE the very wall area that I was eyeing as where I'd like to be. So that meant I could have it! OMG! Suddenly, I am moved by grace from maybe barely having space to present a few originals for lease in a backwater corner, to having enough room to prominently hang everything I had been hoping to show. Truly, what a synchronistically-orchestrated total miracle!
I spent the rest of the day hanging my sudden show, saying 'thank you, thank you' heavenward… I mean, this is the biggest show of the year for the Yuma Art Center, and suddenly, the art I have spent the last two years creating is to be a very visible part of it. Yesterday morning upon arising, I had no idea that the day would go that way….
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But there is more… at least a couple more topics I must share with you…
I share the 'least important' one first.
I am being 'eaten alive' by scabies… a little microscopic mite that makes it's home just under your skin and burrows around having a great ol' time driving you insane with itching, and of course, scratching makes it worse.
This is a re-infestation. I never mentioned it when they arrived uninvited last summer during my travels, and all the struggles I had then attempting to end their visit without taking the insecticide Permethrin cream, but after a couple of months of that struggle, I finally did it (twice actually, plus all the thorough cleaning of everything you touch) and it seemed to have worked. Except that now, a couple of months later, here we go again. And again, I am attempting to avoid using the Permethrin. I've done a lot more reading, and have found success stories to inspire me, of using far less toxic and more natural substances… borax, for instance. And bleach (diluted, of course)… in case you think I'm crazy, that bleach one came from a new female MD just out of Med. school (via the forum thread writer), and it was successful where the claim was nothing else (even the insecticide) had been. Anyway, just took a break from writing to do the protocol I've created. It went like this: Filled the bathtub with hot hot water and put in a bunch of borax powder and another bunch of Arm & Hammer Washing Soda. Soaked in the tub at least ten minutes. Stood up, showered off. Got out. Use a squirt bottle to splash the 3 to 1 diluted bleach neck to toe, using hands to spread it all over. Stand there for a while letting it do its buggy killer thing, then back into the shower for another rinse off. Then exit shower and towel dry off. Go outside in towel (it's night) with flashlight to aloe vera plants and cut a leaf. Come back inside and apply fresh aloe all over body rashes. Ah, soothing relief. Lay down a large piece of plastic on carpet so I can lay down and stretch a little without risking reinfection from carpet (still have to clean carpet with borax/water, let dry, then vacuum, then repeat, repeat, repeat till scabies are gone gone gone…. clothes, mattress, sofa, bedding… same same). Stretch a bit. Get back to writing this.
As you can see, there are no vacuums in life, or, as my mother used to say, "If it's not one thing, it's another." In this case, and being a detective, apparently I got these scabies initially from my mother when I visited her in late May. She had been complaining of itching, and they were then giving her 'creams' but I understand they later did a scabies insecticide protocol on her too.. her memory of it all is fuzzy, but when I described what I was doing, she said that they did that to her too. It turns out that elder homes and preschools and all kinds of institutions are common breeding grounds for this little mite.
Anyway, from a spiritual viewpoint, there ARE at least a couple worse ways to have your lessons in patience and equanimity delivered. But Scabies absolutely does make you VERY grateful when you DON'T have them. And talk about tightening up on the self-discipline… what an excellent opportunity, right? And then, there are the communication opportunities too. Like the conversation I had to have with a friend, who traveling across country, had stopped for a short visit. As this was before I realized what was up, for her privacy I gave her the room I had been using. So now at her home, she is washing everything and studying what to do if she should have any symptoms. Of course we are both praying she won't.
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However, it's a good segue… to the subject of relationship, and, more importantly, beyond it.
I am sure you remember my lamenting on the subject a couple journals back. You may have even rolled in the aisles hooting? OK, OK. Enough! Anyway, having a longtime non-romantic female friend stop by was wonderful and we both enjoyed just being with each other. And it was a great opportunity for taking a strenuous bivouacing hike into the nearby super rugged mountains…a hike that let my body know I sure needed to do more of that and to be spending less time at this computer.
Still, by the time G. visited, I had had my breakthrough, so mostly we discussed it. It's pretty amazing to me the intricate way Life is designed to unfold just exactly the way it must for me/us to get something that is plain as day but that we/I are being totally blind to. If this is not a proof that Love rules the universe, I do not know what is. So to add to your hooting, I report I got a big lesson by being bitten by the online dating universe. That story? You want it…really? OK…but only because it teaches that it is better to laugh at our mistakes than to let shame tell us we must hide them!
I had been (as usual) searching farther and farther afield for my fantasy ideal (you can hoot here, yes do it now, cause this is really standup comedy script you see), and because my 'astrocartography Venus' (Love) line ran through Hawaii, I did an addictive-like search of that state a good while back (i.e., no itching then :-). During that cybervisit I had sent a short 'flirting' letter to a very attractive age-appropriate woman on Maui. I never got a response and I soon forgot about it. But eventually she remembered to check that particular dating site, discovered my letter, loved my profile, and wrote back apologizing that she'd never gotten an email notifying her of my email etc, and inviting me to yes please, write back again. This is a flip of reality that I am not so very well prepared for, it turns out. I 'way over-project' on this dream-come-true woman, wondering if I might be moving to Hawaii etc. But I try to write a sane normal letter of interest back (tough for me to do, in case you haven't guessed :-). I wait a few hours, then pile on another. I wait a few hours, then pile on another. Wait, didn't I just say that? Hummm. This is gonna be embarrassing, I can tell. Ok, might as well get it over with. After the third one, I get a grip, and stop, and TRY to wait. You shoulda been inside my head though. It was a battle zone. Hope v. fear. Love/need v. rage/anger. Why wasn't she writing back? I had a very tiny little barely audible voice saying 'she's just busy and hasn't come to check the site' but you know, I could not really hear that that well. What I could hear was my upset. It was very much like it was during the 'terrible two's'… in other words… infantile. And after three whole days of no response I was ready to use the guillotine on my fantasy for the crime of not meeting MY need to be communicated with. I imagined into reality that somehow I'd said something 'wrong' and now she'd lost interest but was not going to even write me and say so. Clearly I was 'taking it personally' (a violation of the 4 agreements which will always 'get you'). What to say… I had been warned. A Course In Miracles is very clear that the slightest irritation is only a thin veneer over insane rage. And/but, as Ramana Maharshi once said, meditation can clear many karmas, but some have to be lived through. So my infantile insane mind wrote the guillotine letter at 3 am on the fourth morning in order to easy my anguish, and in a fit of self-righteousness, sent it. Of course, within minutes I was dealing with the flip side of the equation… I entered the catatonic shame realms. I was sure that I would never hear back, and I was too embarrassed to proactively apologize. So I just suffered, until I remembered what I'd needed to remember all along. Give it to God. Ask God for help. Ask God to use this for The Good. Surrender it ALL.
That night very late, on the last before-sleeping email check, her response came. She had been busy. She was sorry that I suffered but she was clear it was my stuff. Have a blessed life. Goodbye. And I wrote her a beautiful apology owning my stuff and the lessons I learned. If it hadn't been so personal, I would have used it as a Journal. I didn't expect a response and I didn't get one then, but I did get one two weeks later… just a brief appreciation for the apology, which she accepted from me on behalf of all the men who never did. And wishing me a Happy Thanksgiving (which was the next day). So closes the 'set up story'.
You see dear reader, inside this 'me' there has been a swirling of various forces playing itself out. This is common to each of us, yes? Only the individual circumstances are different… the process is the same. It is always one form of insanity or another, until we/I surrender. For me, something deep and real surfaced as a result of that fantasy failure. I was left looking at myself in a new way, and was more willing than ever before to let myself hear my Voice for God.
She came in a clear vision/dream early one recent morning. And she told me exactly what I had been afraid she would tell me, except that finally I was not afraid to hear it. It is hard to put it into a sequence because it was all immediate, unified, together… not sequential. But here is the best I can do.
We all each have a purpose that calls us. I have been running from mine… the true one… trying to convince myself that it would be OK with the Godness within me to play small and safe. None of my 'searching for love' was in any way about finding an unlimited powerful bold inspiring LOVE. It had all been about finding a comfortable small love, one that would fill my life with all the busyness that could keep hidden from me that I was not playing this unique life opportunity to it's true greatly contributive potential. But my Godness is committed to my true mission, which has nothing to do with my personal ego desires. And so, I saw all efforts to find a small personal love are doomed to failure because they are not an authentic fit for my soul.
Here is my truth now. If there is ONE thing that I have been given as a work, a mission that is worthy of the complete-blaze-brightly-till-extinguished full efforts of the the rest of this my life, it is to live and speak and teach into this beautiful complexly-suffering world the body of inner knowledge that The Love Declaration rests upon. In other words, I am and I am here to be one of that eternal covenant's prophets in this time, in this age. I do not personally like this and that does not matter. This is my real work despite the fact of the millions of times I have failed to be able to love myself or others completely. I have argued endlessly with God that 'I'm not the One for the job' because of these failures. She says she knows more than I do. She says I qualify because of my failures, and that I can deliver the message without superiority or arrogance. And She says the reason I have been given all the talents that I have received in this life is so that I can do this work. She says each talent has their place in the great picture. Some will find 'me' (and thus The Love Declaration) via the talent of writing. Some will connect to 'me' (and thus The Love Declaration) via the paintings. Some will hear me (and thus The Love Declaration) via 'my' music. Some will recognize 'me' (and thus the Love Declaration) because of my willingness to stand for freedom and to challenge the tyrannies we live under. But the deeper truth is that any who recognize me truly (and thus The Love Declaration) have actually seen only themselves, and to do that means they have seen She/He, the Godness, within themselves.
Upon seeing this vision of my Voice for God, much became immediately clear. Most important, I saw WHY all the changes that had been happening were so necessary. I saw I had to be freed of the piano tuning because it was a security string that compromised me and was an excuse to not do this greater mission. I saw I was not to be with a woman until it was obvious who I am being in this world as a prophet of Love, and that then I would not need to search for her. I saw that in all the art business, music business, writing business I was to integrate the distribution of The Love Declaration no matter what 'business rules of thumb' that sets aside. I see that this remaining year here in Yuma is to be used to create the music albums, create the visionary paintings, write the articles and books, do the inner purification, yoga, and physical healing which are necessary for the true mission to be powerfully relaunched. And just like as was obvious yesterday in the miracle of the sudden show conditions materializing RIGHT ON TIME, so also shall all my needs be met in the future. I saw once again that my life is to be based upon that trust …trusting that I will be provided for as needed RIGHT ON TIME. That is why I said 'or so it has been seeming' (that I must now in scarcity/fear 'use art' as a survival occupation)… because while it is true yes that support and money will certainly come via that route, it is not really about 'the art'… it is about 'the love' that made the art.
Why Why? Because (here is my seeing)… if mankind, being now in a conflagration of massive life-threatening and unavoidable challenges on all fronts… does not return to love as the Way to Heal ourselves, our relationships, our politics, our economic injustices, etc, etc, etc, we will inevitably create greatly increased personal and ecological suffering across this planet. We are on the brink of existence-threatening catastrophes and the only answers can be reached through Love. To understand this deeply is to recognize the urgent need--the calling of God--to be a teacher of Love, and to actively use That Great Love to teach the way out of the fear that has created our current world.
As there are unlimited ways to actually do this, from the most human-connecting simple smile, to the most bold courageous selfless act, I invite your partnership in this for the rest of your life. Please accept. You, I, Gaia, and life have everything to gain and, given the course we are currently on upon this Earth, nothing left to lose.
Namaste,
David
PS. You can review The Love Declaration at www.thelovedeclaration.org. Yes, I will need to redo that website soon, and I will. Love to you all.
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FYI: If you would like to share this Journal as a webpage, at the very top of the email where it says:
"Email not displaying correctly? View it in your browser." etc.
…. well, the word 'browser' is a clickable hyperlink that will open this email as a webpage…
which you can then copy and paste anywhere (like to share it on Facebook, or elsewhere).
ALSO: If you would like to share the link to the SUBSCRIBE page, here is the clickable or paste-able code:
If you get value from reading this Journal, I do appreciate your assistance in expanding it's distribution. Thank you so much.
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Addition links to other writings, websites, etc:
Rev. David Seacord
Fine Art Painter / Sufi Cherag
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