Everyman's WEEKLY Journal #79
©2014 Rev. David Seacord
July 13, 2014
The Karma IS the Guru…
It took a particular configuration of circumstances for the core insight that the title of this weeks Journal is based on to arise in me. Thus I am hopeful that many of you will know the story of Milarepa, the 13th century (?) Tibetan Buddhist monk…. I am hopeful because there is a comparable surrender occurring in that story (as to the one I am experiencing).
In any case, Milarepa spent years serving his guru, and his guru's method of training Milarepa was to have him build him a house. And when finished, the guru would inspect it, praise it (or whatever), and then tell Milarepa "Tear it down". So Milarepa would tear it down. And when that was done, the guru would say: "Build it again". And so Milarepa would build it again. And this went on for many years (building it, then tearing it down), until it awoke Milarepa into a permanent enlightenment.
In a similar way, I remember a particularly challenging (but similar) exercise that I and my '6-day Course' (a NorCal live-on-site course produced by Werner Erhard and Associates in the 1980's) went through. It was about 1am in the morning and all 125 of us in the course were quite exhausted from being up and in the course since 5am the previous morning (yes, the '6-day' was majorly intense). But the day was not over--- as without fanfare we were instructed to 'stand up'. So, we stood up. And then we were told 'sit down'. So we did. And the instructions were repeated. And repeated. And repeated. After a few minutes, somebody refused to follow the instruction. (This was of course the purpose of the exercise--- to force the mind to expose its resistance.) You should know that in the 6-Day Course the ground rules required all participants to followall instructions, and we all agreed to those ground rules in order to be in the course. So whoever it was that refused… he/she/their refusal was for all of us. And as Werner's staff were all masterfully trained, they handled the refuser's case 'like an unmovable wall'. And when those communications were complete, the refuser reagreed to follow the instructions. And so we continued to 'stand up' and 'sit down'. Finally after about a hour, another mind refused. And again, that case was handled. And the work continued… 'stand up' (Thank you), 'sit down' (Thank you). At two hours the breaking point began to be reached…. multiple refusals began happening…multiple cases were masterfully handled by the training staff. People were fully exposed, authentic, weeping, begging for the end… Yet the work continued. Finally at about 3 hours, a shift occurred… you could almost feel it sweep through the room. For me (I remember) it was like giving up everything…. I would have stood up and sat down forever at that point… it did not matter. And as that shift swept through the room, an amazing thing happened. As a group, all our exhaustion disappeared and fresh energy and joy and enthusiasm arrived. Smiling and laughing we stood and sat, and the trainers began to intersperse the instructions with enlightened dialogue and nearly standup humor. But that was not the point… the point was that we had all entered the communion of resistantlessness. We were at that moment experiencing being fully present and in the moment with NO MIND agitating for anything different than what WAS BEING.
At 4 hours, we were instructed to go to bed and get at least 6 hours sleep, as the next day would also be very challenging, etc (and it was). But I will leave my memories at this point and return to today….
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As I finished writing the words above, I stood up at this makeshift plastic desk in the pole barn that acts as a huge porch alongside my parents large but old mobile home. I forgot I was wearing sandals with a protruding front toe and that there was a 4 inch platform next to my feet and that I needed to raise my feet. As a result, I tripped and fell hard and the side of my head took a violent unbroken direct blow across my ear as it collided with the top edge of a large old brass-cornered seafarers trunk, after which I landed on the floor where I lay screaming from the pain of the blow for what seemed like several minutes. All at the same time, I was aware on many levels--- one level was remembering my Body Electronics training about trauma… that trauma was 'resisted and unexperienced pain'… therefore I knew I needed to not resist it and to experience it completely in order to heal quickly. So I lay there and let my body and breath do its bellowing/screaming thing. Another level was reviewing my situation logistically and diagnostically, internally monitoring in order to get a sense of the severity of the damage. The impact distortion to my neck had been significant, and the skull felt quite bruised. Another level was finding it quite interesting that my personal karma would give me this experience at exactly this moment, i.e., after just writing about not resisting life and in fact surrendering to it, to have life deliver the strongest blow to my head I have ever experienced (or at least, that I can remember). Thus are we tested... to see if we are for real or just hot air! As the breathing/screaming began to subside I realized I was bleeding and that I needed to see how much. I gingerly began testing movements and balance and negotiated my way the few steps to the bathroom mirror. It looked like I was bleeding from behind my ear. I used some moistened t.p. to clean up the blood running down my neck. I could not see the cuts but I could tell from the blood amount that they must be minor. I decided to call my sister (who is here working on my parents property with me). She arrived in her PJ's from her motel in a few minutes with her very concerned and excited future nurse granddaughter Madison in tow. My sister is an RN with military training. She quickly checked my eyes for concussion signs and got clear that I had hit the side of my head, not my temple. She was relieved about that as concussions are more likely when the forehead is hit. She discovered three small cuts behind the ear, cleaned and sterilized them and bandaged them, and put an ice pack on them. After getting my promise that I would be very careful with my movements, she left with my gratitude for her nursing. I sat quietly looking at this computer for a while, then wrote this report.
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My parents (your parents/our parents) are a karma that is permanent until completed. Although there is a separation, and I am not them physically, I am nevertheless bound to them and I get my soul is 'responsible' to those bonds. My view is that in my freedom I have the choice to accept this. Of course, I could also reject this, but in my view that only creates additional karma. Why do that without a very good principle-based cause? Therefore the lessons being offered by the circumstances of 'cleaning up Mom & Dad's place' are 'my curriculum'. This includes everything about the situation… the fact that my parents were Great Depression impacted and 'saved' everything (in case it might be needed later), and that they never got clear that the more possessions they acquired, the more they would be possessed by them. I suspect they were in fact 'possession-addicted', as there was probably nothing that my father enjoyed more than to score some 'valuable' but probably-never-to-be-used item inexpensively at one of the thousands of garage sales he would frequent. His view might have been "well why not? I enjoy connecting with the people [it a basic fundamental of bargaining that you get better deals if the seller LIKES you, yes?] and what harm does it do? It's only penny-ante…and we might use it!" So that view, plus never discarding ANYTHING for the plus 30 years they were on this 6 acre property after retirement equals 'the mess my brothers and sisters are now dealing with'. Oh, and add to that 30 years of 'overgrowth' burying in thorny thickets untold piles of slab lumber, tires, all kinds of metal, old irrigation hoses, and the like.
My parents also lacked any developed sense of 'feng shui'…the basic rule being 'bring it home, put it somewhere semi-organized, and then stack the next stuff acquired on top of it'. So much so that there is a sense of archeology in me as we dismantle and choose the fate of item after item. In any case, this week as I/we have confronted this 'OMG this is unbelievable!' reality there has been the temptation to overwhelm and checking out, and it is in exactly this temptation moment that the realization in the title arrived.
All people make choices as to their fundamental view of reality. As described by the charka system, there are those whose view is simply survival, for others life is about pleasure, for others it is about power. For me, because I have for the most part seen through those more elementary illusions, what life is about is walking 'the spiritual path'… that all things that life presents are the graduate lessons in the practice of perfecting being a being of love. In this there is a same/same ethic… all things are to be seen equally, and not as something better or worse. Especially on the spiritual path there is the requirement to see events from a deeper than surface view. In other words, nothing actually IS as it 'appears', nothing is 'accidental'. It is in this sense that, yesterday (as I have now had a good nights sleep) while working (profusely sweating) with a rented brush cutter opening up access pathways into the two acres of hillside overgrowth behind the house, and confronting that if I had to do this alone that it could easily take a year or two of my life to clean up the mess my parents have unintentionally left behind--- and that even then I would only have accomplished a stalemate or temporary truce… because the forces of nature would quickly reassert themselves should I cease my efforts here, that Universe downloaded its little jewel of insight: the karma is the guru.
This is the same teaching (of course) as: Before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood, carry water. It is also the same as: Everywhere I look I see only Your Face. Ahhhh……. nothing to do but be grateful.
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A few 'for what is is worth' reports:
Twice this week people gave me something unexpected and unasked for. In a regular-store grocery line the lady behind me spontaneously gave me ten dollars "to help with the food costs" (and as a practice of a 'random act of kindness'), and in the 'health-food store' the cashier gave me a dozen truly free-range eggs (which I irregularly eat raw [yokes only] like the tibetan monks do--for the brain-food fats) because "God has been blessing me a lot lately".
My seven year old grand-niece Madison, seeing me laying on the ground recuperating from the hard work she'd been watching me do, offered to massage me. I accepted expecting nothing… and was delighted and surprised by her youthful grasp of the skill. It took me into a contemplation of the gift of self-discovery that our youth so often is… and how we initially discover our talents that in later life become our professions. I made sure to profusely praise her, and let her know that she was very good indeed.
I handled the speeding ticket (so far) thusly: I stayed over the weekend in the SLC area, and went to the court at it's announced opening hour on Monday. I was told the judge was only in on Wednesday afternoon, so I told the clerk that I did not consent to the ticket and that this moment before her was my legally required 'appearance', and after taking some pictures to prove I had been there, I left. Later that day I wrote up an 'Affidavit of Truth' containing my legal views as to why the ticket was invalid and why it should be expunged from the record, and after finding a friend to witness me signing it, the next day I sent it to the court by certified mail and by fax (so that the judge would have it by Wednesday). I have given the court 14 days to respond. I am waiting to see what they do. That done, I noticed a beautiful release of the matter on the inner, and turned my attention to the matters at hand (ie, my parents property). I feel growth within my from these actions, as they reflect my true stands and are a true expression of them…. ie, that free beings are responsible beings should there be someone actually damaged, but barring that event, that 'speeding' is only a culpable violation when coupled with safety issues or recklessness (which were neither present) and is not a function of rate of speed per se, but of the conditions on the roadway at the time. My expectation is that I have a chance that the ticket will be expunged.
This morning my head injury of last night is much improved. Still some local stiffness, but it appears I am functionally sound.
Many blessings to each of you on this beautiful morning. May these words carry to you whatever gift you are awaiting.
Namaste, & Sat Nam,
David
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Rev. David Seacord
Fine Art Painter / Sufi Cherag
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