Everyman's WEEKLY Journal #55
© 2013 Rev. David Seacord
December 22, 2013
Fatherhood adventures….
I lived with my son Ambrose from the time he was born until he was about six.
Then, when he was almost fourteen and 'out of control and imminently a runaway', I 'kidnapped' him, extricating him against his will (and with police assistance and escort to freeway speeds) from his drug-heavy street-people tribe--and, with his mother hopes and fervent prayers that I could somehow succeed where she had failed, I took him from his home with her in Ashland, Oregon… to my home, then in Santa Fe, New Mexico. He was furious and I was firm… he could only go back to Ashland before he was eighteen IF… (and then there was a list that he had to make good on).
He and I and my then-partner Sarah created family together for about six months, and he made good use of the time (and the sense of family created remains real between the three of us). We didn't force anything on him. We just suggested that if he did this or that (which I would pay for) it would be the fast track back to Ashland. So he did the Landmark Forum for Teens. (It blew his mind and opened up a new relationship between us. He got 'Possibility', ie, 'living a life without limits'). Then he waterfasted at Tanglewood Wellness Center with us. (His 14 day fast profoundly altered his views of health.) As he still hated school, we allowed him to skip eighth grade… he did yardwork and odd jobs instead, earning his own spending money. He learned he could work and be valued. (And he's been employed consistently ever since.)
After six months I returned him to Ashland and his mother's care a significantly different young man; based upon new values he cultivated a new group of friends, made his way to a high school degree via alternative programs, and passionately pursued his love of bass-centric electronic music. He paid for it all by rapidly developing into an excellent young chef, working with honor in a variety of southern Oregon restaurants. Committed to his music, he even saved up an impressive five figure sum over a couple of years so he could attend a NYC computer school in electronic music-making software for six months. And to this day, this major passion drives him… the desire to create/compose/give the world the music he hears in his head.
Despite all that he has had going for him, a couple of months ago his habit of enjoying consciousness altering substances bit him. He slipped badly enough to get himself fired for the first time, and that was a big wake up. He realized he needed to radically re-order his life, and he asked for my help… ie, could he come live with me so he could get away from his party friends and get seriously focused on his music and his vision for his life. I said Yes, and early this month I drove up to Oregon, one of the major purposes being to again 'kidnap' him, but this time, not at all against his will.
Thus, as he turned 23, our current adventures began. There is a famous Mark Twain saying: "When I was 14 I was appalled by how ignorant my father was. By the time I was 21 I was amazed at how much he had learned in seven years…". What I am discovering is that insight goes both ways… I am repeatedly being amazed by how much my son has grown since I last spent 'living-with' time with him. From his wonderful heart-center he is busting me right and left, and I am deeply grateful for his service to me. For example, the spinet piano at the assisted living facility where Mom is living has been in terrible tune, and it's the holidays. I've been 'on it', resisting giving the facility a free tuning, even though it is my own mother who is trying to play it. They have the money, they should pay my at least something (and three years ago [when my Dad was living there] they never did then either). So I was 'on it' and I didn't want to 'get off it'. Well, Ambrose is no dunce and he picks up on all this intuitively. Then he comes over to me and says, "Dad, it's Christmas… you should tune the piano for grandma, she would so appreciate it". He doesn't stick me with any judgement… it's just his heart talking… he'd do it himself if he knew how, but he doesn't. So he's asking me to. Of course he was right and of course I knew it…. and so this Saturday morning where was I? Yep. Tuning that piano. For free. Now here's the truth of it. It was what I had been wanting to do. Only, my mind wouldn't let me. Until my son shut it up by speaking his heart….to which I surrendered.
Ambrose being 23 is powerful for me. It's taking me back to when I was twenty three, when my life was also a mess in certain ways, and to the memories of how so many people helped me (out the goodness of their hearts) to find my way….
Today is Christmas Sunday (which has always been extra-significant to my parents) and I am getting off it again; I found myself calling my Mother as I awoke and offering to take her to ("her") church. That means I will stop here (and move to a fast-track upload--- even omitting finding an image for you). I'll share with you in a later Journal additional reports of what I am learning from my son, from life, from the quietness within my heart. It's all Good.
Namaste, & Sat Nam,
David
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Rev. David Seacord
Fine Art Painter / Sufi Cherag
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