My paradigms have suddenly shifted. I am in 'an unknownness'….
It all started out innocently enough. You go traveling for the summer and you come back with stuff, right? Addresses, business cards, brochures, notes on your voice memo--- some are ideas you caught yourself thinking that seemed brilliant, others contain the voices of helpful people giving you information that you needed at the time… anyway, a lot of stuff to do something with. (In a bureaucracy it's called 'keeping records'.)
Also, in a gradual process that I notice usually takes a week or so, after a long trip and you're now home, a good feeling daily rhythm that 'grounds you' starts to get set, right? And each day you explore it a little more… going a little deeper into the yoga, adding a little more structure in the work-life, practicing a little more disciplined awareness with the diet. Eventually you realize the next biggest thing 'out' is 'the office', where those boxes of things you've collected are getting to be underfoot. So one day, you go for it, and start organizing to all.
As you do, you remember the moments, the people, & what interested you and why you collected the information. You realize you should do something…you create and send off an email, or you order the product. You feel good…you're getting stuff done, you're taking care of your affairs. When something really interests you, you go the computer and follow up on the lead, or google the name (whatever) and start reading 'more'. Then you see a link to something else of interest and you go there, and soon, you're just surfing---gobbling up information simply because you are curious about everything, just like a sanely raised child always is.
The problem is, you might just run across info/stuff that flips a lot of your operative reality on its head, yes? We don't usually expectthis though because our operative reality is made up of all the things we believe to be true, ie, the beliefs which we've been basing our lives upon. Usually if something challenging appears our operating system gives us a yellow warning flag (DON'T PAY ATTENTION TO THIS) and we obediently self-protect and turn away and dismiss whatever was forbidden as 'unimportant', and then go back to the belief system that we are comfortable with. Why? Because it's really uncomfortable to not be comfortable.
Why even right this minute I would so love to go eat something, or go watch a movie, rather than I would like to do this writing about the unknownness that I am feeling. It's exactly what Adyashanti said… most people who find themselves out of the box (so to speak) choose to scurry back in as quickly as possible.
Anyway, through this process I've just described I found myself listening to a hour of expert testimony about chemtrails, which I have been marginally aware of for years but had never really seriously investigated because (you guessed it) it was too uncomfortable. So listening to this highly factual testimony was not fun at all, but I chose not to reject it, instead I chose to consider what was being said. And the thing that I heard repeatedly was "we know the fact that it is happening and what the chemicals are and what the negative results to life are, but we don't know why it's being done or who is doing it." And I internally agreed… why would we consciously choose to poison ourselves and our entire ecosystem with a weather affecting high-altitude life-poisoning spraying program? The whole idea has always seemed like something only an insane person would do. Yet look up into the sky and there they are. And I can remember back to my youth--- they were NOT there then.
Now, here's the thing. You open the door to something like this and pretty soon you recognize that there are A LOT of other things going on on this planet that seem just as insane too… correct? I mean I try to get my head around some of the bizarre events that the papers are filled with, and I just come up with: Whatever IS going on is NOT what we are being told. In other words, things are not what they seem to be 'to the man on the street'. I accepted that a long time ago, and have made my plans and lived my life accordingly. I don't have any debt. I don't have a mortgage. I have learned as many survival skills as possible. I don't have a pet. I've planted fruit trees. I've created a garden. I've stayed single, so as to…(well, you think about it, you'll see). And I have worked to develop 'presence', that the 'Force' could be with me, should the day of need come. (And a little sidebar to that comment: perhaps the truth is that that day does come each and every day, one way or another…)
But the other side of the coin is that I have always wanted to believe that all the apparent insanity was really just a bad dream that one day would magically disappear, and Love would win the day for all of us… IF we would all just learn to do it (meaning 'Love one another'). I wrote The Love Declaration out of the realization that our most significant common enemy was our own fear of life and each other...
As I was online listing to and pondering the chemtrail info, I was aware that where my mind was going (and where it has often gone of late when considering the realities of life on this planet) was to a wondering if maybe ET's might in some way be part of the equation. And the next moment I noticed in the YouTube listing of similar type videos one that was about that possibility. I clicked on it, and found myself watching a half hour of bizarre and possibly paranoid footage about top-secret underground ET bases being all over the world, and being inter-connected by high-speed glass-like tunnels etc. It contained claims of human government complicity (via treaties) in exchange for technology, showed photos of several races of aliens, and described other disturbing scenarios that I will not repeat. It most definitely triggered my personal DON'T PAY ATTENTION TO THIS! button. So I turned it off and went outside, and the sun was there and the wind was there and my studio was there… but something was different. Because now I knew that at least some other people were certain we are not living on this planet 'alone'. (I know that's badly said, because there are millions of other species etc, but I am saying it only in terms of 'humanoids', OK?)
Back in 'normal reality' I needed to go to the supermarket and while there I spontaneously created an impromptu survey…. I started walking up to complete strangers and asking them (after a few words of explanation and getting permission) "Do you think it is possible that the affairs of this planet are being influenced behind the scenes by ET's." I did this at least ten times and I'd say about half said yes, it's possible. One guy even told me about a dark night when a weird and silent light had suddenly hovered above him and scared the b'jesus out of him. This was quite interesting… to find out that a lot more people than I would have expected suspected this possibility might be true. It added a bit of weight, a bit of validity. In a way, it stabilized me. I went home and continued working on this weeks Journal. It was all other stuff… I wasn't going to mention any of this.
BUT, then today I noticed another little ad for: 'The most important photo ever taken.' I clicked on it out of curiosity and found myself watching a ten minute video about the Hubble space telescope, and what it discovered when it looked into a place where there was supposedly absolutely nothing. Yo know what it found instead? Hundreds of thousands of GALAXIES. Since then, Hubble has repeated the experiment several times, with greater and greater sophistications. So what is the bottom line? It is this: What Hubble proved beyond a doubt is that we live in a Universe filled with at least 100 Billion OTHER galaxies, and which is at least 47 billion light years in diameter. If you get this, it totally 'blows' your mind. It is incomprehensible for most of us.
So here is the question….In the face of THAT, who am I? And WHAT is 'true'. And WHERE does 'God', or 'Love', or 'personal destiny' fit into it all. And 'is there any purpose to it all?'. And, are any of my normal 'answers' actually valid?
Of course I know I have been writing for years about all these subjects and that a lot of what I have written has been wonderful and helpful and all that, yet what is true is each time the paradigms of reality suddenly enlarge, part of the process is that you suddenly discover yourself questioning EVERYTHING. You have to, because if you don't, it wasn't really a paradigm shift-- it was 'just a moments peek out of the box', and the scurrying back to safety has already happened (and we didn't notice it even, probably).
As I was out in the desert on my 'sunset-time walk' I was pondering all these thoughts, trying to not scurry to safety. And I suddenly remembered listening to a Larry King interview of John Denver many years ago. Denver had just returned from a non-profit-sponsored tour of Africa, and what he'd seen was a LOT of suffering. And what he said that was profoundly insightful was: "It takes more courage for a farmer in West Africa to wake up and simply face the day (which contains his drought-failed crops and his starving children and his powerlessness to do anything about it) than I will probably ever have to use in my entire life."
You get this? Yes? So, in a similar way, true living takes great courage. It just does. If we have not courage, we have not life. Especially, when our paradigms shift, we must discover our courage to face what is now exposed.
I am now 47 billion light years bigger than I was before. I contain a huge unknownness. Many things that I have not or cannot imagine ARE possible. I am also hugely filled with Love. My unknownness and my Love are meeting. It's a thing that takes courage. For now, that's all I know.
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