In his workshop, that's what Krishna Das said…"Let's be real here…" (he said it a number of times) and then he would actually be and do it… ie, be utterly candid about his life…whatever the question was that was being asked.
I was at Bhakti Fest, a 4 day Yoga and Kirtan festival held this past weekend near Joshua Tree, CA. Among the lineup of amazing musicians, Krishna Das was THE star of the event. I had listened many times to the famous kirtan singer via his albums, but I had never seen the man live before. He had headlined the night before, now several hundreds of us were with him in a 'workshop', a mix of kirtan call and response chanting, and Q & A. I listened intently as a question about his drug use was asked. He was totally straight in his report… that all it had taken to completely addict him was one freebase cocaine hit… that his life then fell apart and 'he was going down'. Then the miracle happened. He described how an elder brother/teacher/longtime friend from India--- a man he loved 'more than anyone in the world'--- had come to America on tour. He went to see him, and immediately upon entering the room, his friend turned to him with a great fierceness, finger pointed directly at him, and said: PROMISE ME THAT FROM THIS MOMENT ON YOU WILL NEVER DO COCAINE AGAIN!!! PROMISE ME!!! PROMISE ME!!!!
Unable not to, he looked his friend in the eye, and he made the promise. The Universe shifted on his Word being given, Grace entered, and the addiction's grip fell away….he never freebased again. So he said "Really, I was going DOWN… it was all Grace that saved me…"
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Personally, I am fine with that view. BUT, I think there was something else too….. that something else is that he made his promise to 'someone who meant everything' to him. In other words, the most important RELATIONSHIP in his life was 'at stake', and it mattered to Krishna Das how it turned out. He went to the mat FOR it 100%… that's what it took…everything…but that everything---because it WAS EVERYTHING…that was enough. That is the Grace of it. When everything is truly given, it is always enough.
This is a big thing for me to see (againagainagain&again). Because in seeing it I can see why The Love Declaration (which is also a promise) has often remained just a 'nice idea' for many people. It is because there has been little or nothing at stake. I see that to 'give your Word' but with nothing at stake is to speak powerless empty words. I am seeing that a person of integrity NEVER gives 'his Word' with nothing at stake. (An interjection…if you are a new reader (many welcomes to you!) you may not be aware of The Love Declaration, and www.thelovedeclaration.org will fill you in…).
In my view, what is at stake with 'the mission' of The Love Declaration (and all similarly aligned energies [of which there are now thousands]) is the future of human life… nothing less. I am clear about that. It's easy to see that if we humans do not learn to love each other (and our world) very soon the result will be game over. That is the setup of the times… we either choose collectively to grow up spiritually or we die off (or at least massively 'die back' [in terms of population etc]). The necessary core consciousness shift is simple: we are each other literally-- we are not 'separate' from each other. This means that truth is a zero vacuum space and all egoic reality is a false dream…
Being real again, where most of us awakening I's find ourselves now is in the back and forth yo-yo conundrums of moment to moment choice between 'The Great Reality' (Love) and 'The Great Illusion' (Fear). Yes? I mean, permanent enlightenment is (supposedly) never again to give any belief to a fear thought as the real. While that state is still very rare it does exist in certain beings, and it is where we are all aimed, and it is why we practice…so the question is… what is personally necessary to the attainment of that freedom? And the answer I AM hearing is: we must love ourselves enough to have immediate compassion upon all other beings.
Krisha Das touched on this too… commenting that 'he didn't know why he had hated himself so much'… but (again) it was only Grace that had awakened him enough to begin to love himself. I experienced a similar grace at the end of the first Love Declaration mission (in 1989) when I received a magical phone call (magical because as I was traveling [and there were no cell phones then] there was NO HUMAN WAY anyone but the Godness could have known the correct number to call to reach me at at that exact moment). And the Prophetess on the phone simply said: "I have been requested to call you and let you know that while (during the previous two years of leading seminars and speaking etc) you have done much good work with other people with The Love Declaration …that you have been shallow with your own work on yourself. (Busted, I immediately knew the truth of this.) Your work now is to (really) learn to love yourself." (As a aside, this experience could confirm for you that whatever you and I are doing IS KNOWN… i.e., if we are 'feeling alone/isolated etc' THAT is a FALSE reality. We are NEVER alone. And, as servants of the Way, we ARE important, as iswhat we do.)
What I have discovered over the past 25 years of 'learning to love myself' (including the necessary detailed examination of my 'dark side') is that the 'I' that I usually identify with is not real. It is fictional. And to the level that I have understood this (which admittedly fluctuates depending on whatever unconsciousness producing triggers the moment contains), I have become freer and freer. And, it is only this freedom within me that is valuable to anyone (temporarily) less free. Hence, these journals are written as a report of how 'I' am meeting 'my' life--- sometimes temporarily successfully, or sometimes temporarily failing--- in my remembrance practice "that I am also you".
I went to Bhakti Fest as a volunteer exchange, but not on the level that would include 'meals'. So to feed myself I went from food vendor booth to food vendor booth offering my most inexpensive art prints in exchange for a meal. It's 'barter', and I love it because it is so win/win for everyone. One booth wanted a much more expensive larger print for their cafe back home, so I ended up with a line of credit that was for much more than I could eat (and I didn't really wish a steady diet of just their food either). So what divine creativity inspired me to do was to a. get a meal plate from them and then b. go to other booths and c. trade my plate for their different plates. It worked awesomely, and was great fun. I even traded a plate I got that way from the Krishna Kitchen for some CD's. What goes around comes around, and we are it's handmaidens...
Another fun (Yes! I Can!) moment involved my clarinet playing…. I had been just walking around playing it a bit to get my daily practice time in (and noticing the appreciation of other people) but as I approached the sounds of one of the stages I wondered if I could make my sounds work with theirs… (I don't have a lot of experience playing clarinet with others, so I didn't know…). Anyway, I found the right key and happily tooted away until my 'lip' gave out… (like I said, off to the side, kinda privately [but those that did hear didn't complain or anything…). I was thrilled, it was a genuine breakthrough for me… and I am now much more inspired to keep practicing the instrument (so as to create a future of using it with versatility and mastery with other musicians). Yea music… such a great healer of the pains of life!
I was working on the outdoor yoga hall sound team… (most times at the festival the yoga teachers would have either a soundtrack or live musicians playing while they instructed their classes). Compared to the main stage, the sound systems were simple (as rightly correlated to my experience level), but we/I had to be on our toes, because sometimes out of nowhere and without warning the teacher would bring in, well, a jam session of numerous various musicians who were all happy to play for the class just to be able to jam together. One time we maxed out the entire16 channel control board, and then spent the class time trying to get the monitors and main speakers sounding good to everyone's satisfaction. At the end, internally it felt like a great accomplishment. And it was. Because everyone was being nobody while at the same time, being somebody doing 'their' part as well as possible…. My seeing was "this is real spiritual communion"---ever-present, mostly unnoticed.
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On the legal front (referring to recently being given a ticket for 'illegal camping/sleeping in a car' on the Big Sur coast highway as reported in the last Journal edition [see the archives, #39]) I report to you that in my view the lessons are on two levels--- 1. personal, and 2. legal. On the personal level the work is 'to not take anything personally', forgive the officer his 'poor eyesight' and NOT get hooked by his actions (but rather to see him as also an instrument FOR the 'greater good' even if he is not able to currently recognize what that is in a way that I would agree with). On the legal level (and the reason I am willing to go to trial on the issue) the cited county code is (to me) clearly an unconstitutional violation of every free beings basic 'rights to life, liberty, and happiness'. In brief my case will be: 1. the right to sleep is unquestionably a part of and an expression of the right to life; 2. the right of liberty includes both the right to travel and to NOT travel, in other words, the right to STOP somewhere (with my property [car] in my possession); 3. the right to pursue 'happiness' includes the right to be about our publicly harmless personal affairs (like for me, painting the views); 4. the rights of ownership of ALL private land property can ONLY exist inside of the context of the free and unlimited use of the public right of ways (obviously, because without the rights of way between private properties no one could even leave their lands without trespassing upon someone else's land, and there would be no peace…), and 5. as has been historically so since this country was created, I cannot be REQUIRED or FORCED to PAY for rights that are already mine (meaning forced to use a motel or fee charging campground) as long as my sleeping while upon a public right of way while pursue my personal affairs is 'harmless' (as viewed historically) to other parties and the land.
Therefore, I am not guilty of violating the county code, rather the county code is guilty of violating my inalienable and constitutionally guaranteed rights to use the public right of way to sleep as necessary that I may live and pursue my happiness (but to claim those rights for myself and for all others who may wish to exercise them (at least in places like the Big Sur coast), I must now successfully claim them in 'the courts'.)
As 'the dark side' (and that would be 'of ourselves' too [just look at any messy divorce]) uses 'legal mechanisms' to try to control its reptilian-brain-based fears of the unknown because it does not know 'Oneness' or trust in Love, in this case (since I do wish to continue to exercise these rights) as a being of Love I am called to rise and stand for the truth of these matters within the turf of the courts. Admittedly, this is pretty new territory for me. I am doing my best to prepare for the experience.
On the home front some things are changing too, but I am not sure yet of the new direction. During my summer travels of the last few months my mother (whom most of you know I have often been living with since my father died two years ago) has been visiting with other family siblings in the northwest. Her support needs have been gradually increasing and her presence in their homes has revealed this and concerned them. So there is a family-wide discussion as to whether it is right for her to live in Yuma 'alone' any longer (where I am necessarily often gone for weeks at a time), and assisted-living options are being explored in the northwest. The impact of the potential changes is that I am now starting to look at a future that might be free for the first time in years of 'family duties'. That these 'duties' have been grounding for me and allowed for much growth, yes-yes,…. AND….
Anyway, my friend Steven Walters has a song "Where do I go from here, Lord…?". I'm now back in Yuma waiting for the answer to that...(but with a lot of painting and other work to get done in the meantime…). So onward we go.... We all have a world waiting for our love.
May your hours and days this week, this month be the truest ones you have yet lived. And as a result, may the light of love enter and heal all beings.
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