Any birth is primal, formative, and far reaching. Spiritual birth in no different--- it can seem to take forever to ripen enough to be able to hold a new universe inside ones Self, but somewhere during the labor it becomes clear there is no going back. The way through is one-way only: forward…committing to meeting whatever the journey contains.
This past week-plus the only way to meet my soul's 'Yes' has been to allow my ego's 'no' to die, moment by moment. Life is actually always asking each of us to allow this, that the true need of the miraculous moment can be seen, met, and then created. That summates our individual and joint work as lightworkers, yes?
Sometimes we are uncertain as to what that need of life is… what it is that is being asked of us,…. but that uncertainty can be given up, can be released IF we are willing to surrender everything we are still grasping onto (in our efforts to worship our separated lower nature). This week what I have seen is that what my ego nature has been battling to hold onto has been my identity as an important painter. It has been committed to a vision that of all the choices I have available as to how to use this precious life, the best one is to climb the greased pole of artistic greatness--- that success achieved that way would somehow give me the happiness that I could have no other way.
There has always been a knowing in me that this dream was based upon an egoic foundation. Yet I have for years buried that knowing and continued to pursue it….something in me just needed to 'make it', to be 'somebody' instead of just being. I am now looking at what this has cost (not in terms of something to be 'guilty' for, but rather from the view that all choices by their nature are also a 'not choosing' of everything else). Since each moment of this life is precious, I am seeing that now is the best time to chose more truly… and to create a future for this incarnation to be more fully manifesting the I AM-ness which has always been my Source.
As it has been doing all summer, this I AM-ness has been very busy teaching me this week (by ways seemingly unrelated, as is it's way--- to see if I/we are awake to it 's Presence everywhere, in all things, at all times…). For instance….
For five days I was an honored and welcomed guest in the Portland home of a beloved sister six-months pregnant with my godchild (by way of the fact that I introduced and delivered the child's father to her home during my journeys last summer). After these days of wonderful communing/fellowshiping, when I reached the knowing that it was time to continue the journey, the message was clear that this home was also my home. I left feeling very loved, and knowing I am part of the family, present physically or not.
The universe had me doing a lot of hiking during the week, searching out trail-access-only hidden waterfalls (as I have plans for painting a series of recognizable waterfall scenes). I did serious compositional photography of them (often entailing leaving the trail safety and/or wading in the waters to get the best located shot). On one such wading journey I forgot my iPhone was in my pants pocket. It stopped working and had to be replaced (luckily I had bought the needed warranty, and just as luckily, all my data was recoverable). So grace again took care of me.
And to handle the phone situation, I was required to turn around (I was thinking I was heading eastward to visit the Wallowa's) and instead return to Portland. But this also provided the opportunity to reconnect with a beloved and have the conversation that I knew was 'the universe's need in the moment'. And also to purchase from the distributor a quart of ionic silver that I have been needing. And then, new phone working… to receive the directive to 'drop in' for the evening at the Northwest Sufi Camp over in Mollala (an annual affair that I had been aware of but… well… other things were happening). So what I am reporting (again) is that guidance was always being received… all I needed to do was follow its suggestions.
There are times when a single conversation can transform a whole life. I report one such to you now: At the Sufi Camp I attended an early morning meeting for Cherags (ie, Rev.'s-- of which I am one via ordination by Pir Vilayat Khan when I was about aged 30). The teaching Murshida (a female master initiate) for some reason chose to speak on "The 12 Levels of Spiritual Initiation" as presented by the Sufi Master Hazrat Inayat Khan, the founder of my lineage. As it has been nearly 30 years since I have actively participated in the Order as a dues-paying Mureed, this material was either new-to-me or had-been-long-forgotten. As many Sufi's do, I had (in those intervening years) remained a Sufi at heart, but had studied and practiced in depth many of the other of the world's spiritual traditions, including Zen, Buddhism, Advaita Yoga, ACIM, and mystical Christianity. Murshida's speaking triggered a radical re-recognition within me, for as she spoke describing these spiritual initiations I recognized having received all of them but the final one…not from or via my Sufi lineage, but either via my other spiritual studies with other teachers, or organically and naturally via my life-experiences of the past thirty years. And I recognized that it is that final initiation that has been challenging my egoic I-ness during this current journey…
This final initiation (which in the Order is called 'Pir') comes about when…after you are a master, you consciously chose to responsibly hold the space for a lineage to be born (or continued) through you. This is a huge responsibility, and this is what I have been resisting doing, in order to continue 'having my freedom'. Instead of allowing my heart to guide me to this destiny, I have been attempting to avoid it…. and to substitute instead my dream of being a world-recognized important artist. What lineage wishes to be born through this life you ask? My answer today is 'a self-perperuating organizational structure which effectively transforms lives by teaching The Love Declaration and the truth principles upon which it stands'.
I have been aware of being (for the most part) a masterful being for many years, and my life has demonstrated it for any who would or could see it. But I have had a lifetime resistance to 'organizations', preferring not to be 'encumbered' by them. Now life has been teaching me that for my heart's vision of a world based and operating itself upon selfless Love to become manifest, I must surrender this resistance and instead must create, enter, and fully embrace one (a powerful organization)… for only through such an avenue will it become possible for The Love Declaration and the awareness for which it stands to authentically enter the world and do the work the universe's need has assigned it as it's dharma.
Since hearing this conversation a week ago I have been in a spiritual crisis, for many days my Divine will doing battle with my personal will. The first line of The Love Declaration says: "I am you partner in awakening from fear..". All my personal survival fears have been screaming within me, resisting this Calling. Guidance however has been very active, using my travels southward to draw to me a number of very powerful individuals with the function of them confirming and empowering my heart and souls desire to fully chose mySelf, to trust mySelf as a Voice for God in the world. I have begun answering this Calling.
Last night under a full moon I ascended Mt. Shasta to pray. This morning I awoke with a new heart. Two young women approached me with open auras… I initiated them on the spot… by asking them to repeat the potent words of the Declaration with me. I watched it open and impact and bless them. After giving them copies and some simple instructions, I climbed the hill to a stone labyrinth circle. Without asking, a young man gave me the guitar he had been playing, and I began chanting, eyes closed. Voices appeared and joined in, others began the walking ceremony. I opened my eyes to see who was singing with me… synchronistically, one woman was an old soul and a personal acquaintance from Santa Fe. I had not seen her for over a year. Another was a woman whom I had met and given the Declaration to at the Rainbow Gathering six weeks before. We made music to the Godness for an hour. On the way down the mountain, stopping to use a campground latrine, the woman also waiting in line instantly 'saw' me, and I immediately initiated her also, again watching the simple profound words of the Declaration impact and open and bless her....
In Richard Bach's book "Illusions, the Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah" there is the opening story of the clinging creatures who lived at the bottom of a great crystal river, whose way of life was fearful clinging to the reeds and rocks of the bottom. Finally one chose to let go, and, when he refused to cling again, was lifted by the river up into the current. To those downstream, he was flying… a miracle. As he floated in the arms of the current, he taught those he was passing… "Let go, let go, let go… there is nothing to fear… the current will lift you, just as it has lifted me…"
As that one, I am lifted. As I Am lifted, I Am also Calling You….
Namaste, and Sat Nam.
David
aka Daud Umacharan
PS…Guidance has been showing me the new function of my art also… it is to be used to empower the building of this mission, and (as gifts) to reward the generous contributors who shall fund and assist the said organization building.
PSS… as a review, here is the link to The Love Declaration website as it has been for about 2 years.... thelovedeclaration.org. As you can see, the vision has existed. It has just been a bit abandoned, by me, for the reasons I have been sharing. I am now retaking responsibility and again going 'active'. I therefore ask for your prayers and encouragement. Many Blessings, & Namaste to each of you...
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