 "ATapestry of Subtleties" ©2008 Rev. David Seacord about 22" x 28", Acrylic on Canvas
Everymans WEEKLY Journal #31
© 2013 Rev. David Seacord
July 7, 2013
Arrested…& Suddenly Homeless…
Inside of the universal truth that we each create our personal experiences and that every experience is our spiritual growth opportunity, my I has had a few very creative weeks (since leaving Yuma June 17---first to attend the nearly two week long 3HO Summer Solstice Gathering in N.NM--- and then directly after that, the "Rainbow Gathering", located this year in a very conservative mountainous area of western Montana. Upon exiting that event this past Friday afternoon I was arrested on suspicion of drug possession and driving under consumption-caused impairment, leading to a graduate level course of legal protocols. I will recount those events in more detail later in this journal edition, but allow me first to also report to you other aspects of the journey also.
Recently I read a very personally impactful writing of ACIM (A Course in Miracles) mentor Liz Chronkhite. I don't remember the issue number at this moment, but I was ripe for the realization her writing assisted me to get: that the 'spiritualization' of the ego is still ego. In other words, all of our practices, our self-help work, our therapies, our austerities…. all the accumulations and trapping that constitute 'the awareness culture'--- while they are all beneficial and wonderful to experience--- they also serve to perpetuate our individual senses of personal identity. And, as true spiritual wakening is about the transformational disappearance of our personal identities (ie, becoming literally selfless), any attachment-based participation with egoic spiritualization becomes an entrapment and an impediment to our soul's growth.
Since awakening to this realization none of my actions have particularly changed. But the way I am seeing the worlds timeline flowing past me has shifted quite radically. Perhaps it is similar to the ancient Zen maxim "before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water….after enlightenment, chop wood, carry water".
As a result, at the 3HO Solstice, while I intensely active and participatory and loved being so, there was within me an awareness that I was swimming in a sea of egoic spiritualization with 2000 other people. In terms of shared values, I perceived nearly everyone there was in attendance to acquire some added MOREness to their identity… not LESSness. The Kundalini yoga path that Yogi Bhajan taught was and is dedicated to creating beings who are powerful and masterful and beautiful---personalities (male and female) who are forces to be reckoned with in the world, who accomplish 'great things'. As I have an egoic personality that sees itself called on a great mission myself, it is easy to be attracted to a discipline that promises to increase my power and mastery, yes? However, I am now seeing clearly that this is not the same as true selflessness. What is true selflessness? I as an ego may never know. Because, as an Advaita teacher who name is evading my memory searches once said: "The paradox of our situation is that when we finally succeed in attaining enlightenment, what we discover is that who which desired to become enlightened no longer exists".
The 3rd Zen Ancestor says: "and attachment cannot be limited. Even to be attached to the idea of enlightenment it to go astray." I guess that is why I used the phrase 'attachment-based participation' earlier. For it seems that the hook--- the spiritual danger--- is in the attachment to the path as 'the truth'. When we are not suffering from attachment to form, there is a surrender that allows whoever or whatever to be in our lives… without resistance. That surrender is the foundation of satisfaction and happiness. Certainly happiness is not the attainment of some idealized circumstance. It cannot ever be that, for as Buddha pointed out, such acquisition automatically leads to the suffering of the fear of losing those circumstances.
So, in a nutshell, my I-ego loved Solstice/Kundalini Yoga/etc, and my I-soul has seen it would be unwise to swallow it hook/line/sinker. I therefore remain a "Sufi"… a student of all paths, moving into my dharmic journey as freely as possible without the constraints of dogma, but also without resisting the contributions to be gained from studious and practical association with teachings of obvious value.
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In order to attend the Rainbow Gathering I necessarily shifted gears. From a world of committed yogic practice I traveled a thousand miles north into a world of spiritual narcissism peopled by thousands of souls entertaining many various life values….from hedonism to Jesus fundamentalism to nature ethic to drug worship and beyond. Although certainly not all the attendees would fit this description, perhaps having said that it would be appropriate to explain why I would even go. The answer is because I was at one time in my youth a lost soul habitually using the softer drugs (marijuana, hashish, mescaline & peyote) to escape my suffering, I went as a messenger and a living example of the way out, and to serve as needed. I also went to simply be in nature, to enjoy the drumming circles and often excellent campfire music, and to offer The Love Declaration to whoever would receive it. While there, I did distribute the Declaration to many hundreds of people, and I also spend several days working in one of the wood-fired mud and stone kitchens, preparing free meals for the multitudes. It was heavy work, as the vessels we used cooked up more than 50 gallons of rice, or lentils, or beans, etc, at a time. Plus, the fires blackened them on the outside, so I got quite dirty each time I would touch them.
In any event, by the time I left the gathering mid-Friday afternoon, I was certainly ready for a shower and fresh clean clothes. But before I could get to a town to do that, I was pulled over by a Montana State Trooper who was a part of the dragnet of law enforcement surrounding the gathering. As I got out of my car to speak with him, what he saw was a dirty unshaven man wearing clothes that were nearly rags. Let's just say he did a very good job of being professionally respectful despite my appearance.
Before I speak to my spiritual lessons gained, I present a brief and egoically sterilized version of the events….
The reason for my stop was a taillight supposedly not working properly. The focus on that was re-prioritized when Officer J. Love informed me that he could smell marijuana in my car. I informed him that I did not use drugs, and that no drugs were in my car, and I respectfully declined his invitation to voluntarily give him and his quickly arriving backup permission to search my car. I declined on the principle that I was and am free to exercise my right of privacy without fear of intimidation. I was compliant with his request to perform numerous roadside tests to prove my sobriety (and I assumed I had passed them all) but in the end because of my unique personality responses which were admittedly foreign to his experience I was arrested on suspicion of being impaired by drugs and my car was seized as evidence of being a potential drug dealer. Handcuffed, I was transported to a regional hospital 45 miles aways from the point of stop, and my car was towed to an impound yard the same town (Dillon, Montana). At the hospital I allowed a blood sample to be drawn, expecting to have that clear me in a few minutes (until thereafter I was then informed that the results would not be available for 6 to 8 weeks). I was then interrogated by two initially very stern and fully armored 'Impairment Experts'. They repeated all the roadside tests and then some. I cooperated fully, in fact, by then, I had rebuilt my chi enough to begin teaching to their blindnesses in a humorous rapport-building way…. which resulted in being both declared 'not impaired' by the two experts (who were now quite curious about rawfood, waterfasting, and my paintings and writing) and then un-arrested (with a personal apology from the arresting officer) and released from custody. However, my car remained impounded pending the acquisition of a judge-signed search warrant that would allow them to search my car for drugs sometime the next day. Why that procedure was necessary I suppose would fall under the heading 'just to make sure'. Once a bureaucracy process begins, it is usually averse to reversal…. even when all parties fully expect it to turn up a zero.
The net result of all this was that that evening I found myself on the street with the (dirty) clothes still on my back, my ID, and a debit card which (for complex reasons) contained very limited funds available (I could afford some food, but not a motel.) All my other normal financial resources were inside my impounded car, which I had no access to. Soooo…. functionally, I joined the ranks of the homeless. Figuring I would probably sleep in a field or something, I began asking people for a blanket. One kind soul gave me a 'space blanket' (made of aluminum foil). It got dark and the weather was threatening…. then it began to rain. I asked for charity (unsuccessfully) at a couple of motels. I continued exploring for shelter, and finally noticed a large temporary fabric greenhouse in the parking lot of a small department store. A partially open zipper on one side of its door allowed me to peek in and see it was empty except for some stacks of pallets. I slipped in and was grateful to be dry, even if faced with sleeping on raw pavement. Then I noticed a large pile of plastic tarps. I piled the tarps up as thickly as I could and created a much softer surface than the pavement. I lay down, and pulling the final tarp over me, I slept erratically. I left in the early morning (and I noticed later that workers arrived shortly thereafter to strike [take down] the structure). A motel clerk lent me a washrag and allowed me to use a lobby bathroom. An ATT store allowed me to charge up my nearly dead phone (which I needed to receive the call from my arresting officer informing me of the results of their search, and where to come to get my car back etc).
I spent the majority of the day seeking information as to the whereabouts of my car, and the small cargo trailer that it tows. When I finally made contact with the correct tow company and spoke with the driver who had done the job, his explanation of the process relieved my mind of its concerns about vehicle and/or trailer damages. I then walked to the impound site, expecting to base (hang out) somewhere nearby so that I would be available to be present and provide information during the search (ie, that's fragile, etc) but when I arrived the search was underway and I was not allowed to be present. I waited across the street. At this point my faith that nothing bad would happen to me was the most challenged, as I am aware of numerous instances of police planting evidence, and I found myself not totally certain that that would not happen, even though I knew I had established a positive rapport with the officers. I erred on the side of caution ("trust in God, but tie up your camel") and made two phone calls (to my biological brother and a Yuma friend) to inform them of events and to instruct them what to do if they did not hear from me by the next morning (the assumption being that I would be in jail). However, my fears did not manifest--- these were Montana Troopers, not corrupt LA city cops--- and the searching was over fairly quickly with the correct negative results. I believe a dog that did not 'alert' to anything may have been part of that, as I was informed that a dog was on its way when I first arrived (and told to wait across the street).
As I was being courteously assisted reconnect the trailer to the car, I asked one of the officers to please press on my brakes. My car brake lights (the ones that had supposedly been nonfunctional and which had been the reason for the original stop) worked just fine. My arresting officer commented "well, I have it on video that they didn't work" and "let's see what happens when we connect the trailer". We did that and all lights worked fine. I did not make an issue of this, as the point was obvious. My personal belief is of course, that the lights were never malfunctional, that they were simply not visible, being blocked by the trailer (I expect Officer Love [who now joins my readership] will recheck his video…). This of course leads to a deep and psychologically complex conversation about how we make assumptions and how that impacts our perceptions.
It is easy to understand why a Rainbow Gathering attracts law enforcement interest, and why officers on duty there are on alert to find any legally justifiable reason to make as many stops as possible, for a percentage of such stops could be anticipated to produce the apprehension of "criminal activities and persons". It is also easy to see how such a focus would work against the standard of 'innocent until proven guilty'. There is also the much larger conversation about whether the types of drugs used by 'rainbow family' even should be illegal (considering that studies comparative to alcohol etc place them on the scale as less harmful than many of our legally available drugs, and given the negative impact that acquiring a criminal record for recreational drug use can have upon a life. While I do not use or support the use of such drugs, I do believe the current laws are very poorly conceived and need to be revisited and reformed to lessen the damage they cause to society. As I am sure most of you know, there are many thoughtful proposals being brought forward to various state legislatures, and I encourage these.
As I process my thinking about these events, there is much I have not said yet, but this edition has used up it's word allotment, yes? I continue to affirm that our lives are non-accidental, and that all our lessons are contained in the events that occur within our experience. I am sure I will be drawing wisdom for these adventures for the rest of my life. I pray you may receive something from your reading also.
I am now in Oregon, where I plan on doing several weeks of art-related business.
Many blessings to all of you,
Namaste, & Sat Nam,
David
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Rev. David Seacord
Fine Art Painter / Sufi Cherag
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