I almost would like to open with "Dear Diary", as there is that sense occurring for me as I write, especially as the best writing seems to occur when I am writing as if I were to be the only one reading this.
But, even though there really is only one of us, I am still practicing this awareness… imperfectly (so it seems at times like twoness is a valid reality). I am gratefully watching though, as this is incrementally being dissolved by my growing experience of my wholeness.
Here's an experiential example that just happened….
I spent the day today (Saturday) exhibiting my paintings at the weekend Lithia Artisan's Market in Ashland, Oregon (which I have been a member of for many years since I used to live here a lot…). It was the maiden voyage for a new display system keyed off of the small trailer I built in Yuma and which I am towing. However, not everything was working perfectly--because of the wind--- which was occasionally blowing/flapping my good sized paper pieces and therefore putting them at some risk. I realized I needed to create a system to add some weight to the inside of the clear plastic envelopes that the art was in. I tried using some cut-up cardboard boxes, which was an improvement but not really enough weight, as the wind was still being successful. As I drove home after the market, I realized I needed some perfectly sized pieces of wood to insert for weight--- and I needed them by tomorrow morning (for the Sunday market), which seemed impossible because everyplace where I might buy such materials was already closed.
With that problem on my mind, I pulled into the driveway of the housesit I am staying at, and noticed in the drive next door a pickup truck loaded with small pieces of lumber. A man and a woman were working together unloading the lumber. They watched me park and get out, and then man raises his arm to say howdy. I do the same back. Then the man speaks. "Hey, Rev. David Seacord (I think he must have read the signs on my car that announce that), do you need any pieces of wood?" "Absolutely", I answered, "and I was just wondering where I was going to get some before tomorrow morning." I am walking over to him as I am talking.
The man keeps talking…"You may not remember me, but I bought several prints from you a few years ago. I still love them…" So suddenly reality has just flipped….I am not only being offered the wood I need, but the offer is coming for one of my own art collectors…
We connected around the past art a bit, and I explained what I needed in the way of small pieces of wood to weigh down my painting. We chose the right sized wood, but it needs to be cut and sanded. He says, 'not a problem, I've got the tools" and goes to bring them out. We do the work together in a few minutes, thoroughly enjoying the communion created by the moment between the three of us. I offer them a print from my small prints portfolio to express my appreciation, which they receive with delight. We separate (they to go to their supper, me to come to this computer to create this journal entry) all of us sort of humming our own heart song of gratitude and happiness, all of us knowing (even though not a word was spoken on the subject) that we were each other's miracle of one-mindedness that evening…
While here in Ashland, I have twice driven up to Merlin, Oregon to attend talks by Guy Finley (a spiritual teacher and author whom I have admired for many years). He has a group of serious local students that have chosen him as their teacher, and he works with them several times a week in a public meeting format. As with all charismatic teachers, there is a group mind being shared-- that was obvious. So there was automatically a subtle 'us' and a 'not (yet) us' in the space, but guests were definitely welcome, although (my ego observed) 'a little formally'. I accepted that as natural, and I enjoyed both visits, and I continue to recommend Guy to anyone interested. Personally I was immediately remembered by many as 'you played the piano, didn't you?' from my one previous visit to his center a couple of years ago. And Guy and I had a number of personal moments that summated with his 'don't be a stranger…' welcome. I suspect I will be integrating some of his thinking into these reports as time goes on… as I have done with other teachers.
All that said, there was a moment I'd like to focus on… it occurred while driving to Merlin the second time, wearing earphones and listening to some Sikh chants. I report those details as music is 'an emotional elevator', an assistant to being able to access certain levels of inspiration. Anyway, I suddenly downloaded a powerful feeling that (no other way to say it) I was "the return of Christ". I realized this was not a personal thing… but that it was also the truth that it was personal. I saw that Guy was also being 'the return of Christ' too… his version, his expression. I saw that all of us will get this download at some moment--- that that is what our function and purpose actually is… to be the free expression of our enlightenment, including freely expressing our remaining moments of non-enlighenment without hiding them, or being ashamed of them. (Guy's talk Wednesday evening had been about the way's that shame is an egoic ploy that keeps us contracted because of the way we hide or suppress our experience of it…).
In that context, I made a mistake yesterday at the market. To say hello to another vendor, I interrupted the person who was then speaking to them. That person became upset at the interruption, and expressed it strongly enough to dissipate the energy of the greeting that I was enthusiastically giving, causing both of us to turn and realize that we had an upset third person to be with. My ego at first wanted to make the guy wrong for being upset, and to play innocent. Then I saw that in truth I had interrupted him, and that I had not been aware of it. So (after a minute, ie, it wasn't instantly) I took a breath and apologized. But even that was still ego, because I knew I was just being right by 'being great with him'. But he accepted my apology, and the ruffled feathers smoothed back to social tolerance.
Later, during the breakdown load-out, he parked next to me, quipping 'Can I just call you 'Rev.'?… to which I responded 'if you like…' (even though I thought I detected that the way he was toning it, it was slightly challenging). 'That would be easier for me to remember…' he commented back, and continued loading his car. A few minutes later, I realized I needed a second persons help in reconnecting my trailer to my car, and yep, who was there around to ask for help but this guy?… Ego would have rather it had been someone else, but life gives us the hot coals to walk across as it will, probably chuckling. So I asked him for assistance, and we worked together as a team getting the trailer positioned and connected. As I thanked him afterwards (and received his 'glad to help anytime' response) I felt the past upset moment still subtlety living inside me disappear, and I recognized we had just 'completed' that, and were now free to move on…
It is good to listen well to 'the Universe', and trust it's flow, yes? It does know how to teach us, if we are willing to learn. Which I suspect is why A Course in Miracles repeatedly teaches is that what we bring to God is (primarily) our willingness. And that, because of our willingness, the rest of our spiritual journey becomes an expression of 'grace'.
Being a painter in public has been giving me some growing lessons also. It is so very different from painting privately in a set-up studio (where nobody sees anything until I am ready to show it). Being a painter in public has meant experiencing other people's reactions and judgements of my work AS IT IS IN PROGRESS. And as it often doesn't necessarily look so good at the moment someone walks by, there is the opportunity of unhooking my ego from reacting to the public judgement, and to just stay egolessly focused on creating the painting. I don't have a perfect track record at this yet, but I am getting assistance from the fact that I am in new territory… both painting in public, and painting vertically. Some sweet images have been created for the effort (and some have been thrown into the trash can too…:-). This is called 'finding your way' (as an artist). Par for the course is the paying of the dues, one way or the other. I am finding myself happy despite all challenges because I am doing finally exactly what I have dreamed of doing for so many years… to travel around painting plain aire, and learning to do it well. So my reports on these painting adventures I am sure will be continued… for now...
May each of us waken increasingly to our Christed nature, and learn to follow it unerringly.
Namaste & Sat Nam,
David
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