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Everyman's WEEKLY Journal (#4)
© 2012 Rev. David Seacord
Sunday, December 23, 2012
"The biggest cowardice of a man is to awaken the love of a woman without the intention of loving her." ~ Bob Marley
This quote has been hanging out in my inner thinking ever since I 'by chance' ran across it last week. Now it's become a prized "nut-of-a-puzzle" that I am continually gnawing on---and will keep gnawing on--- until it has released its profound secrets…..secrets I am certain I (and you too) must have if we are to ascend to it's frequency level of utter self-honesty. I mean for myself, I both instantly knew it was totally true, AND that I was just going to be totally busted by it. Like a brand new unexpected landscape suddenly appearing as I finally gained a steep tough wilderness trail ridge-top viewpoint, my assumptions of my own relational awareness immediately required re-examination. For metaphorically, there before my stunned eyes lay all the proof I'd ever need that I sure didn't know everything yet, and that sometimes, I could still even be dead wrong. As Gangaji has often said, this is Great Good News (from a perspective of soul growth), because it means new territory is now being entered….
How had he (Marley) discovered this? This…this fundamentally ultra-simple bedrock of completely responsible relating…. How had he been able to journey to a place so purified of individual (in his case--male) self-interest that he could see it THIS clearly? Honestly/truthfully…being too interested in 'the story'… that is an ego/mind distraction trick. That is actually not very important here/now for us/you/me at this moment because Marley's gift is now 'a given' (i.e., it's available), and thus 'it's loose in the world and doing it's work'. Obviously though, the only way he could have discovered this is that he was willing to be totally straight with himself.
So what is important here/now (for me …and for whoever might get this through me) is that I finally have 'gotten it' (at least a big new piece of it), and I am continuing to get it in a way that is taking me into new territory, and thus necessarily making previous pathways and previous patterns unviable and indefensible. In other words, that I get this, that alters my life. And obviously, ifyou are ready to get it (or even just a new piece of it), it will alter yours too.
So, if you're willing, let's look at this a bit closer, ok? I mean, "What is the big deal?", the gorilla-ego in us (that sex-irrelevant place within that just wants what it wants) might say…
Ok, (as I see it) here is the big deal:
Point one: In 'our insanity-filled yet somehow spiritually-perfect soul-school world' EVERYTHING that is 'off', 'wrong with', 'painful', 'horrible', 'negative', 'barbarous', 'vile', 'selfish', 'greedy' 'war-creating'…….(this is just a quick, very short list btw)…. they ALL arise into our existence from the NOT getting of this. What I mean is: these 'curses upon us'… they all exist because we falsely think we can somehow ACT WITHOUT LOVE TOWARDS ANOTHER and that 'it will still be OK'. But this really is NOT TRUE. Why? Because acting without (meaning 'outside of') Love is fundamentally what is creative of all the suffering we experience in our own lives, and in our world at large. And that suffering… that is NOT 'God's Will' for us…. that is OUR Creation. God only 'allows it' (ie, it's inside the gift of free will)…but WE create it and perpetuate it by our continued unconsciousness… and if it is ever going to be uncreated, it will be by the reverse process… our intentional conscious use of the same creation power.
Point two: I say that if the truth be fully seen, all of our actions are intentional, and NONE are accidental. Meaning, when we do something, there is always a purpose--a reason--a desired result--behind that doing, no matter how deeply hidden from others or ourselves we may attempt to place it. So, what would the purpose of "awakening the love of a woman without the intention of loving her" be? Please try this on…. that the intention would be robbery. Robbery? Yes…of a woman's heart's immense and natural power to Give. Bluntly said, if you're a guy and you've done or are doing this, what you have-done/are-doing is sticking your power plug into a woman sockets to get her juices to flow towards you…. and then, when your battery has gotten its charge… you have or are cutting and running in order to escape paying any real from-your-heart price for it. That is a robbery, a thievery, pure and simple. And it creates (in this world/in our lives) a huge out of balance male/female karma… the accumulated effects of which are devastating to the mental, emotional, physical, spiritual, and psychic AND political health of humanity.
How far does this dysfunctional karma go and how important is it to get it cleaned up? Allow me to say: It goes very far. And because of the havoc it wreaks upon humanity, it needs to be at the very top of our true clean up list. Karmically, it goes far, far into our ancient distant past and it has given us an amazingly shameful human history of abusive inter-sexual relations. Right now I think it would be nearly impossible to find a non-pre-pubescent person alive who has not felt it's pain; and as far as the future goes, in my view it is clearly set to perpetuate itself, with no end in sight….except via one pathway: that each one of us who has done it or is doing it become conscious enough to STOP doing it, and then immediately begin turning ourselves around and start facing it and its repercussions in our lives and the lives of others, and then courageously taking on correcting ourselves and our karmic indebtednesses to others with utter honesty. This is what is involved in 'being total straight with yourself'.
Unfortunately, if you are currently blind in this department…to how this operates in your life…you will not automatically be able to see it (your own blindness). That is just the nature of the 'conundrum of being'….we usually can't see what we most need to see…we are usually not that honest, even to ourself, because (at a minimum) that would kill our ego's victimization story. But if you've reached the place where you really choose to see if/where your hand fits in the glove, I suggest just meditating honestly on these few simple questions:
How at peace are you (your mind, your emotions) the majority of the time?
What is it really like inside you whenever you are alone or without friends?
How much do you still distract yourself and use various escapes etc, to avoid being with yourself or the circumstances of your life?
What are those escapes? (You could make a list…)
In the area of sexuality and relationships, what are those escapes?
Here's a few sexuality/relationship specific questions to help the looking into that area….
1. Do you/have you ever felt yourself being depressed or lonely, and headed out somewhere to 'find a girl/guy'?
2. Do you 'share yourself' easily with newly met women/guys, and then energetically feed off the romantic fantasies that arise?
3. How desperate are you to hook up? And what does that tell you about yourself?
4. Have you ever paid for sex (or even seriously thought about it)?
(This question may seem 'prostitution specific', but it isn't, not really…)
5. Do you use ANY kind of consciousness altering substance 'to feel better'?
(You don't have to limit this looking to just drugs, btw…)
6. Have you ever LEFT a relationship disharmoniously…ie, walked out on her/him and never 'gotten complete' with the other person?
7. Have you ever knowingly lied to get sex? (You might even make a list of your favorite/most used lies…)
8. Have you ever had a 'one-night stand' intentionally?
9. Do you 'flirt','lead people on','tease','play innuendo games' as a way of being/feeling connected or 'having fun'?
(In other words, do you toy with other peoples hearts, and hopes of 'finding love'?)
10. If you made a list of the costs (to you, to others) of these ways of being, what would be on that list?
The glove is, you see, very broad (and this list in NOT 'extensive' or complete by any means…). Nearly all of us have fit into it, at least in our past. Most of us have at least a few of our fingers in it still, at least on occasion. I observe we don't like being this rigorous with ourselves, we don't like to be this straight. Mostly we still want to be able to party hardy and we still want to escape paying the price. It's just that as we become 'more spiritual', the ways we do it become subtler and subtler... I suspect we are hoping that nobody else will see…
Hey brother/sister, I am not being holier than thou here…I've personally known most of this territory too. Some of these patterns I started cleaning up years, even decades ago, but sometimes they still tempt, and I still find that if I touch them, they still bite me. I know I'm making progress because the bite's usually don't hurt nearly as much as they used to. That must mean I don't take the bait so deeply....:-). No way around it…it's work, and it takes a long term healthy vision of your/my 'possible potential self'-- backed by a no-kidding commitment-- to take ourselves on like this… actually, it takes giving up running our life like we own it. Because you see, we don't, not really. You and I are only junior partners in this game. If we wish to graduate up to our divinity, or even just get up to a decently functional personal integrity, besides a strong meditation practice, the fastest way to clean up (that I know something about) is to dedicate at least a part of our life to some kind of selfless service. Our karma will determine what that service is, but you can bet it will ask us to demonstrate again and again our commitment to mastering our past unconscious habituations/addictions.
Why must this be? The short answer is because that is why we are here. To master that which now masters and controls us. And thus become Free. You see, knowing we are 'divine' means nothing if our life does not demonstrate it. The true path to this mastery is not supposed to be easy. And it is not supposed to be hard, either. That's all in the way we choose to walk it….that's dependent upon our own self-honesty/self-deception continuum. The straighter we are though, the better, the brighter our life will more quickly become.
If we think this means giving up a lot of fun, or that it will be boring, that is still our blindness talking. So we do more purification work. When we really get interested in growing ourself into who/what we actually could be, we will find a great satisfaction waiting. It's called 'the joy of life'. And we will be filled with a sense of purpose that is immune to egoic attack, and from that joy our life will receive its deepest meaning.
'They say' that a breakthrough unacted upon disappears. Meaning, if we have really seen something …and then don't start living it, it soon becomes another lie. Hence the Werner Erhard quote: "The truth believed is a lie." So, where will this living transformation show up? Obviously, for me it will show up in my own relationships….for you it will be in yours. Hallelujah that day.
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Closing BTW for men seeking women: The most precious thing a woman IS is her heart. It's not her inspirational beauty, it's not her amazing body (the portal to human incarnation for every one of us), it's not even her intuitive hyper-warpspeed mind…. it's the limitless power of her heart to support and Love. A true-to-her-Self woman is completely owned by this heart… so… if you would like such a woman to meet you and pour into you from her heart, get straight with yourself. Slow the hustle way down, take time to discover what you really have in common, let a true friendship blossom-- before you 'get into the ring'. And most importantly, be willing to receive her commitment to you with an equal one given unreservedly to her. Anything less is a robbery.
Namaste,
I AM your partner in awakening--
David
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Rev. David Seacord
Fine Art Painter / Sufi Cherag
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