My paradigms have suddenly shifted. I am in 'an unknownness'….
It all started out innocently enough. You go traveling for the summer and you come back with stuff, right? Addresses, business cards, brochures, notes on your voice memo--- some are ideas you caught yourself thinking that seemed brilliant, others contain the voices of helpful people giving you information that you needed at the time… anyway, a lot of stuff to do something with. (In a bureaucracy it's called 'keeping records'.)
Also, in a gradual process that I notice usually takes a week or so, after a long trip and you're now home, a good feeling daily rhythm that 'grounds you' starts to get set, right? And each day you explore it a little more… going a little deeper into the yoga, adding a little more structure in the work-life, practicing a little more disciplined awareness with the diet. Eventually you realize the next biggest thing 'out' is 'the office', where those boxes of things you've collected are getting to be underfoot. So one day, you go for it, and start organizing to all.
As you do, you remember the moments, the people, & what interested you and why you collected the information. You realize you should do something…you create and send off an email, or you order the product. You feel good…you're getting stuff done, you're taking care of your affairs. When something really interests you, you go the computer and follow up on the lead, or google the name (whatever) and start reading 'more'. Then you see a link to something else of interest and you go there, and soon, you're just surfing---gobbling up information simply because you are curious about everything, just like a sanely raised child always is.
The problem is, you might just run across info/stuff that flips a lot of your operative reality on its head, yes? We don't usually expectthis though because our operative reality is made up of all the things we believe to be true, ie, the beliefs which we've been basing our lives upon. Usually if something challenging appears our operating system gives us a yellow warning flag (DON'T PAY ATTENTION TO THIS) and we obediently self-protect and turn away and dismiss whatever was forbidden as 'unimportant', and then go back to the belief system that we are comfortable with. Why? Because it's really uncomfortable to not be comfortable.
Why even right this minute I would so love to go eat something, or go watch a movie, rather than I would like to do this writing about the unknownness that I am feeling. It's exactly what Adyashanti said… most people who find themselves out of the box (so to speak) choose to scurry back in as quickly as possible.
Anyway, through this process I've just described I found myself listening to a hour of expert testimony about chemtrails, which I have been marginally aware of for years but had never really seriously investigated because (you guessed it) it was too uncomfortable. So listening to this highly factual testimony was not fun at all, but I chose not to reject it, instead I chose to consider what was being said. And the thing that I heard repeatedly was "we know the fact that it is happening and what the chemicals are and what the negative results to life are, but we don't know why it's being done or who is doing it." And I internally agreed… why would we consciously choose to poison ourselves and our entire ecosystem with a weather affecting high-altitude life-poisoning spraying program? The whole idea has always seemed like something only an insane person would do. Yet look up into the sky and there they are. And I can remember back to my youth--- they were NOT there then.
Now, here's the thing. You open the door to something like this and pretty soon you recognize that there are A LOT of other things going on on this planet that seem just as insane too… correct? I mean I try to get my head around some of the bizarre events that the papers are filled with, and I just come up with: Whatever IS going on is NOT what we are being told. In other words, things are not what they seem to be 'to the man on the street'. I accepted that a long time ago, and have made my plans and lived my life accordingly. I don't have any debt. I don't have a mortgage. I have learned as many survival skills as possible. I don't have a pet. I've planted fruit trees. I've created a garden. I've stayed single, so as to…(well, you think about it, you'll see). And I have worked to develop 'presence', that the 'Force' could be with me, should the day of need come. (And a little sidebar to that comment: perhaps the truth is that that day does come each and every day, one way or another…)
But the other side of the coin is that I have always wanted to believe that all the apparent insanity was really just a bad dream that one day would magically disappear, and Love would win the day for all of us… IF we would all just learn to do it (meaning 'Love one another'). I wrote The Love Declaration out of the realization that our most significant common enemy was our own fear of life and each other...
As I was online listing to and pondering the chemtrail info, I was aware that where my mind was going (and where it has often gone of late when considering the realities of life on this planet) was to a wondering if maybe ET's might in some way be part of the equation. And the next moment I noticed in the YouTube listing of similar type videos one that was about that possibility. I clicked on it, and found myself watching a half hour of bizarre and possibly paranoid footage about top-secret underground ET bases being all over the world, and being inter-connected by high-speed glass-like tunnels etc. It contained claims of human government complicity (via treaties) in exchange for technology, showed photos of several races of aliens, and described other disturbing scenarios that I will not repeat. It most definitely triggered my personal DON'T PAY ATTENTION TO THIS! button. So I turned it off and went outside, and the sun was there and the wind was there and my studio was there… but something was different. Because now I knew that at least some other people were certain we are not living on this planet 'alone'. (I know that's badly said, because there are millions of other species etc, but I am saying it only in terms of 'humanoids', OK?)
Back in 'normal reality' I needed to go to the supermarket and while there I spontaneously created an impromptu survey…. I started walking up to complete strangers and asking them (after a few words of explanation and getting permission) "Do you think it is possible that the affairs of this planet are being influenced behind the scenes by ET's." I did this at least ten times and I'd say about half said yes, it's possible. One guy even told me about a dark night when a weird and silent light had suddenly hovered above him and scared the b'jesus out of him. This was quite interesting… to find out that a lot more people than I would have expected suspected this possibility might be true. It added a bit of weight, a bit of validity. In a way, it stabilized me. I went home and continued working on this weeks Journal. It was all other stuff… I wasn't going to mention any of this.
BUT, then today I noticed another little ad for: 'The most important photo ever taken.' I clicked on it out of curiosity and found myself watching a ten minute video about the Hubble space telescope, and what it discovered when it looked into a place where there was supposedly absolutely nothing. Yo know what it found instead? Hundreds of thousands of GALAXIES. Since then, Hubble has repeated the experiment several times, with greater and greater sophistications. So what is the bottom line? It is this: What Hubble proved beyond a doubt is that we live in a Universe filled with at least 100 Billion OTHER galaxies, and which is at least 47 billion light years in diameter. If you get this, it totally 'blows' your mind. It is incomprehensible for most of us.
So here is the question….In the face of THAT, who am I? And WHAT is 'true'. And WHERE does 'God', or 'Love', or 'personal destiny' fit into it all. And 'is there any purpose to it all?'. And, are any of my normal 'answers' actually valid?
Of course I know I have been writing for years about all these subjects and that a lot of what I have written has been wonderful and helpful and all that, yet what is true is each time the paradigms of reality suddenly enlarge, part of the process is that you suddenly discover yourself questioning EVERYTHING. You have to, because if you don't, it wasn't really a paradigm shift-- it was 'just a moments peek out of the box', and the scurrying back to safety has already happened (and we didn't notice it even, probably).
As I was out in the desert on my 'sunset-time walk' I was pondering all these thoughts, trying to not scurry to safety. And I suddenly remembered listening to a Larry King interview of John Denver many years ago. Denver had just returned from a non-profit-sponsored tour of Africa, and what he'd seen was a LOT of suffering. And what he said that was profoundly insightful was: "It takes more courage for a farmer in West Africa to wake up and simply face the day (which contains his drought-failed crops and his starving children and his powerlessness to do anything about it) than I will probably ever have to use in my entire life."
You get this? Yes? So, in a similar way, true living takes great courage. It just does. If we have not courage, we have not life. Especially, when our paradigms shift, we must discover our courage to face what is now exposed.
I am now 47 billion light years bigger than I was before. I contain a huge unknownness. Many things that I have not or cannot imagine ARE possible. I am also hugely filled with Love. My unknownness and my Love are meeting. It's a thing that takes courage. For now, that's all I know.
(Saturday) This morning instead of 'me doing yoga', yoga 'did' me. And it did me 'straight up & honestly'… meaning there was 'no ego cheating'. [It does amaze me to realize that most of the 'little lies' I am tempted to tell are to myself… like, who the heck is watching (err..nobody)… yet in my head I can still hear an egoic voice that just wants to believe that if I do the posture 'a little wrong' so as to make it look like I can stretch a little farther than I actually can (than if the stretch were done correctly) that somehow the I that is IT can believe that I've made more progress than I actually have. Which of course reveals that who that 'IT-I-am' is most interested in looking good for is IT's-self… hummmm… what a conundrum box, yes?]
Anyway, I started getting curious when I caught myself doing this, and wondered "Well, what is the truth of it?" and decided to find out. See, last week at Bhakti fest (because I was always right there, on the sound team for the yoga classes) I did so much yoga that my body just filled up with aching muscles. And then I watched this famous 76 year old yoga teacher (Dharma Mittra) do all these amazing postures that I cannot even come close to. At that class I stopped even trying---I just went into watching mode… so that I didn't miss anything… so that I could see that 'ok, I now believe it's possible'…
You know where my heart went? It went to "I can learn this… I can do this!" In other words, it inspired my heart to take on doing yoga as something brand new… and with a commitment to master it PROPERLY. So (back to this morning) I used my phone yoga app and let it guide me. I went to the beginners level, and tried to do beginner poses PROPERLY. And as I reached my actual flexible limits without any cheating, it was clear exactly where I am going to be doing the real work (& lots of it). This is so just fine… I am actually excited. This IS what happens whenever a genuine new possibility is seen and committed too, yes?
After yoga, my eyes landed on a little 3 x 5 card I had push-pinned onto the wall above this computer. 5 Simple Rules for Happiness.
1. Free your heart from hatred. 2. Free your mind from worries. 3. Live simply. 4. Give more. 5. Expect less.
Ahhhhhhh…. yes!… thank you thank you to whoever first recognized this wisdom and put it into these words. Thank you to my then myself who then read it and recognized it was important to put it on a reminder note. My heart took it to heart again. And in my heart's mind, I heard a little tune begin to sing itself and decided to follow a little prompting whisper to go open my guitar case. The little tune keep singing itself. Following another prompting, I switched on the RECORD button (of my iPhone voice memo app) and started playing/singing the little tune…
Oh Great Spirit, Help me… (4 times)
Help me to be free from hatred…
Help me to be free from fear…
Help me to be free from anger…
Help me to know You are always Here…
It was such a simple little tune, but so truly my heart's prayer. Like a devotional kirtan, I could not stop singing it, and as the singing continued, various new lyrics were delivered… (which I am attempting to decipher now from the sound recording as the mic placement of the phone on the table captured the guitar in front and so my voice in the background is often difficult to hear clearly [live and learn])… but the point is, my heart led me to singing again 'as a yoga'. So, in the moments of it happening, it was just a creative flow--- a following. Not so long after though, I could hear the thinking of the ego…"Oh, what a cool song I just wrote!" Uh uh. Err Mr. Daud's ego, you go check that at the door please. That was NOT you….
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This evening I had a communion with a stranger watching a young bird die. I had been heading toward the door of a store when I noticed it on the edge of the sidewalk curb, laid out like it's wing was broken. Near death, it's beak was opening and closing, but only silence was coming out. The stranger, a crew-cut muscular man in a white business shirt and slacks, stopped beside me. We didn't talk as we watched. I extended my right hand out to send healing energy. The bird rolled over off the curb and onto the pavement, onto it's back. I softly said "It won't be long now…". The man quietly muttered "uh huh"… In a few moments, I felt the life force leave, and sent a prayer of peace to it. The bird's body stopped moving. We both stood there silently for a few moments. He looked up at the building eaves to see where it might have fallen from. He said "Sometimes when they're OK I put them back up, if I can see where they fell from…". For some reason I started thinking about how so many of us humans used to die young too… about when giving birth would often take the life of both the mother and the baby…. "Infant mortality" I said. He looked at me quietly… I think he got it. We shifted back into being 'strangers'. With a smile, I said "See you". He smiled back and went on his way. It was a good moment to have shared...
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After so long on the road it takes a few days to normalize to 'a home life'. First, there was the press of the semi-emergency things that needed to be taken care of… the big prickly pear cactus had been blown over in a summer storm and that took a few morning & evening work sessions (too hot still to work in the full of day) to clean it up. Also, after returning from Bhakti Fest there has been a lot of office and computer work to do to. But finally it was clearly time to studiopaint again. This is quiet a different experience than painting plein air on the side of the road, probably as different as roadside first aid is from a surgery room, and in similar toolage ways. Getting everything set up took a day, and then yesterday, I painted (and finished today) the piece at the top of this edition. It's too soon for me to know if it is 'a great work', but I am sure it is 'valid art'. It felt good, following those subtle little hunches that guide my studio working so often… what colors to choose, what technique to use to apply them… not going into the mind too deeply… staying with the trusting process, knowing something within me wishes to freely dance….
So completely different from 'the legal world' (which I also necessarily spent a lot of time in this week, researching my defenses to this 'camping' ticket). God, I wish we could all just learn to love each other (my lesson too, btw). I'm becoming so clear that if we did we would not even need 'laws'. Laws are a very poor substitute for Love, that is so for sure. One thing I noticed as I explored: the more people in an area, the more laws. Also, the more money in a area, the more laws. In a very real way, the love (and protection) of money is the source of all law. And some places are so filled with laws that I am astounded it is possible to live there in peace at all, as it seems like anyone actually SELF-EXPRESSIVELY ALIVE would just be getting into legal ditches constantly. No wonder I love the natural empty places and don't wish to 'own' much. This is a pretty big wake up for me--- to understand that I in my natural fully self-expressed 'freedom' mode could easily find myself repeatedly 'netted' (like Gulliver). It does make me wish for my (imagined) past lifetimes in monasteries, but I am certain that there is a purpose in the non-monastic life I now live. I suspect it has to do with 'learning to love EVERYONE', given that that is what The Love Declaration declares I am 'up to'. Sometimes I have to dig pretty deep into my core to find my heart's will to continue to be up to it though… It's like all the legal research stuff I am doing is a journey into 'the shadow', and I can feel my lower nature stirring, wanting to be Right, instead of completely trusting that Truth/God will win the day for me. I imagine myself in my trial later this fall… sometimes I see myself being able to be relaxed and open and confident. Other times I feel the fear of being slam dunked, or 'home towed'. It certainly is an area of life where I fear I will lose power, and THAT is probably the real reason I know I must confront it (instead of just paying the [pretty significant] fine).
Like back in July in my Montana arrest, things worked out. But the big win for me was simply being willing to go through the legal drill that came down when I said 'No' (to being searched). There was a piece of me that I got back from doing that… a piece of my own personal power and self-respect. And the only reason I was ticketed this time in Big Sur was because I again stood for my own power (ie, quoting the gruffly-spoken officer: "you didn't say, 'I'm sorry, I didn't know there was a law against it'. You argued with me. So now you get a ticket instead of a warning!") My 'argument' had been to ask "what the heck is wrong with sleeping in my own car?" (And, as you know, I don't think there is anything wrong with it, and I don't think there should be any laws against it. Especially when on the side of a public highway in a rural unincorporated area, when the last pull-out marked with a 'no camping' sign is more than 30 miles away.)
Anyway, I accept this all as my most wonderful karma and karmically provided 'growth opportunity'. As a college freshman I was a pre-law major. I've always been interested in the subject. Not because I wish to use it as is often done (to dominate and control others) but the opposite (to be able to live in freedom). It seems to me the universe is giving me some opportunities to extend my skills well beyond 'the artistic'… now the assignment is also to 'learn the law'.
I do think it is important to do, given the nature of the phenomenal world (I mean, was Jesus Christ ignorant of man's laws? NO WAY. But, he also knew the difference between man's law and TRUE law). And as Jesus taught in the Golden Rule (Do onto others as you would have them do onto you), the most important thing in this life is to remember to CREATE NO NEW KARMA. From a Buddhist perspective, our job is to liberate ourselves by knowing our Oneness, and acting in accordance with it. Creating new dualistically based karma… hating, being non-compassionate, getting even, compelling others against their will… all that takes us in the opposite direction, into hellishness. The temptation to forget this is everywhere, in all of our lives---especially at any time we are experiencing 'being a separated one' (re: ACIM). Therefore, may we all continue to practice 'just saying no' to the worlds illusions, and returning our attention to Love.
Again,
Oh Great Spirit, Help me… (4 times)
Help me to be free from hatred…
Help me to be free from fear…
Help me to be free from anger…
Help me to know You are always Here…
(I'll make a simple-but-decent recording of this 'soon' and share it with you… :-)
In his workshop, that's what Krishna Das said…"Let's be real here…" (he said it a number of times) and then he would actually be and do it… ie, be utterly candid about his life…whatever the question was that was being asked.
I was at Bhakti Fest, a 4 day Yoga and Kirtan festival held this past weekend near Joshua Tree, CA. Among the lineup of amazing musicians, Krishna Das was THE star of the event. I had listened many times to the famous kirtan singer via his albums, but I had never seen the man live before. He had headlined the night before, now several hundreds of us were with him in a 'workshop', a mix of kirtan call and response chanting, and Q & A. I listened intently as a question about his drug use was asked. He was totally straight in his report… that all it had taken to completely addict him was one freebase cocaine hit… that his life then fell apart and 'he was going down'. Then the miracle happened. He described how an elder brother/teacher/longtime friend from India--- a man he loved 'more than anyone in the world'--- had come to America on tour. He went to see him, and immediately upon entering the room, his friend turned to him with a great fierceness, finger pointed directly at him, and said: PROMISE ME THAT FROM THIS MOMENT ON YOU WILL NEVER DO COCAINE AGAIN!!! PROMISE ME!!! PROMISE ME!!!!
Unable not to, he looked his friend in the eye, and he made the promise. The Universe shifted on his Word being given, Grace entered, and the addiction's grip fell away….he never freebased again. So he said "Really, I was going DOWN… it was all Grace that saved me…"
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Personally, I am fine with that view. BUT, I think there was something else too….. that something else is that he made his promise to 'someone who meant everything' to him. In other words, the most important RELATIONSHIP in his life was 'at stake', and it mattered to Krishna Das how it turned out. He went to the mat FOR it 100%… that's what it took…everything…but that everything---because it WAS EVERYTHING…that was enough. That is the Grace of it. When everything is truly given, it is always enough.
This is a big thing for me to see (againagainagain&again). Because in seeing it I can see why The Love Declaration (which is also a promise) has often remained just a 'nice idea' for many people. It is because there has been little or nothing at stake. I see that to 'give your Word' but with nothing at stake is to speak powerless empty words. I am seeing that a person of integrity NEVER gives 'his Word' with nothing at stake. (An interjection…if you are a new reader (many welcomes to you!) you may not be aware of The Love Declaration, and www.thelovedeclaration.org will fill you in…).
In my view, what is at stake with 'the mission' of The Love Declaration (and all similarly aligned energies [of which there are now thousands]) is the future of human life… nothing less. I am clear about that. It's easy to see that if we humans do not learn to love each other (and our world) very soon the result will be game over. That is the setup of the times… we either choose collectively to grow up spiritually or we die off (or at least massively 'die back' [in terms of population etc]). The necessary core consciousness shift is simple: we are each other literally-- we are not 'separate' from each other. This means that truth is a zero vacuum space and all egoic reality is a false dream…
Being real again, where most of us awakening I's find ourselves now is in the back and forth yo-yo conundrums of moment to moment choice between 'The Great Reality' (Love) and 'The Great Illusion' (Fear). Yes? I mean, permanent enlightenment is (supposedly) never again to give any belief to a fear thought as the real. While that state is still very rare it does exist in certain beings, and it is where we are all aimed, and it is why we practice…so the question is… what is personally necessary to the attainment of that freedom? And the answer I AM hearing is: we must love ourselves enough to have immediate compassion upon all other beings.
Krisha Das touched on this too… commenting that 'he didn't know why he had hated himself so much'… but (again) it was only Grace that had awakened him enough to begin to love himself. I experienced a similar grace at the end of the first Love Declaration mission (in 1989) when I received a magical phone call (magical because as I was traveling [and there were no cell phones then] there was NO HUMAN WAY anyone but the Godness could have known the correct number to call to reach me at at that exact moment). And the Prophetess on the phone simply said: "I have been requested to call you and let you know that while (during the previous two years of leading seminars and speaking etc) you have done much good work with other people with The Love Declaration …that you have been shallow with your own work on yourself. (Busted, I immediately knew the truth of this.) Your work now is to (really) learn to love yourself." (As a aside, this experience could confirm for you that whatever you and I are doing IS KNOWN… i.e., if we are 'feeling alone/isolated etc' THAT is a FALSE reality. We are NEVER alone. And, as servants of the Way, we ARE important, as iswhat we do.)
What I have discovered over the past 25 years of 'learning to love myself' (including the necessary detailed examination of my 'dark side') is that the 'I' that I usually identify with is not real. It is fictional. And to the level that I have understood this (which admittedly fluctuates depending on whatever unconsciousness producing triggers the moment contains), I have become freer and freer. And, it is only this freedom within me that is valuable to anyone (temporarily) less free. Hence, these journals are written as a report of how 'I' am meeting 'my' life--- sometimes temporarily successfully, or sometimes temporarily failing--- in my remembrance practice "that I am also you".
I went to Bhakti Fest as a volunteer exchange, but not on the level that would include 'meals'. So to feed myself I went from food vendor booth to food vendor booth offering my most inexpensive art prints in exchange for a meal. It's 'barter', and I love it because it is so win/win for everyone. One booth wanted a much more expensive larger print for their cafe back home, so I ended up with a line of credit that was for much more than I could eat (and I didn't really wish a steady diet of just their food either). So what divine creativity inspired me to do was to a. get a meal plate from them and then b. go to other booths and c. trade my plate for their different plates. It worked awesomely, and was great fun. I even traded a plate I got that way from the Krishna Kitchen for some CD's. What goes around comes around, and we are it's handmaidens...
Another fun (Yes! I Can!) moment involved my clarinet playing…. I had been just walking around playing it a bit to get my daily practice time in (and noticing the appreciation of other people) but as I approached the sounds of one of the stages I wondered if I could make my sounds work with theirs… (I don't have a lot of experience playing clarinet with others, so I didn't know…). Anyway, I found the right key and happily tooted away until my 'lip' gave out… (like I said, off to the side, kinda privately [but those that did hear didn't complain or anything…). I was thrilled, it was a genuine breakthrough for me… and I am now much more inspired to keep practicing the instrument (so as to create a future of using it with versatility and mastery with other musicians). Yea music… such a great healer of the pains of life!
I was working on the outdoor yoga hall sound team… (most times at the festival the yoga teachers would have either a soundtrack or live musicians playing while they instructed their classes). Compared to the main stage, the sound systems were simple (as rightly correlated to my experience level), but we/I had to be on our toes, because sometimes out of nowhere and without warning the teacher would bring in, well, a jam session of numerous various musicians who were all happy to play for the class just to be able to jam together. One time we maxed out the entire16 channel control board, and then spent the class time trying to get the monitors and main speakers sounding good to everyone's satisfaction. At the end, internally it felt like a great accomplishment. And it was. Because everyone was being nobody while at the same time, being somebody doing 'their' part as well as possible…. My seeing was "this is real spiritual communion"---ever-present, mostly unnoticed.
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On the legal front (referring to recently being given a ticket for 'illegal camping/sleeping in a car' on the Big Sur coast highway as reported in the last Journal edition [see the archives, #39]) I report to you that in my view the lessons are on two levels--- 1. personal, and 2. legal. On the personal level the work is 'to not take anything personally', forgive the officer his 'poor eyesight' and NOT get hooked by his actions (but rather to see him as also an instrument FOR the 'greater good' even if he is not able to currently recognize what that is in a way that I would agree with). On the legal level (and the reason I am willing to go to trial on the issue) the cited county code is (to me) clearly an unconstitutional violation of every free beings basic 'rights to life, liberty, and happiness'. In brief my case will be: 1. the right to sleep is unquestionably a part of and an expression of the right to life; 2. the right of liberty includes both the right to travel and to NOT travel, in other words, the right to STOP somewhere (with my property [car] in my possession); 3. the right to pursue 'happiness' includes the right to be about our publicly harmless personal affairs (like for me, painting the views); 4. the rights of ownership of ALL private land property can ONLY exist inside of the context of the free and unlimited use of the public right of ways (obviously, because without the rights of way between private properties no one could even leave their lands without trespassing upon someone else's land, and there would be no peace…), and 5. as has been historically so since this country was created, I cannot be REQUIRED or FORCED to PAY for rights that are already mine (meaning forced to use a motel or fee charging campground) as long as my sleeping while upon a public right of way while pursue my personal affairs is 'harmless' (as viewed historically) to other parties and the land.
Therefore, I am not guilty of violating the county code, rather the county code is guilty of violating my inalienable and constitutionally guaranteed rights to use the public right of way to sleep as necessary that I may live and pursue my happiness (but to claim those rights for myself and for all others who may wish to exercise them (at least in places like the Big Sur coast), I must now successfully claim them in 'the courts'.)
As 'the dark side' (and that would be 'of ourselves' too [just look at any messy divorce]) uses 'legal mechanisms' to try to control its reptilian-brain-based fears of the unknown because it does not know 'Oneness' or trust in Love, in this case (since I do wish to continue to exercise these rights) as a being of Love I am called to rise and stand for the truth of these matters within the turf of the courts. Admittedly, this is pretty new territory for me. I am doing my best to prepare for the experience.
On the home front some things are changing too, but I am not sure yet of the new direction. During my summer travels of the last few months my mother (whom most of you know I have often been living with since my father died two years ago) has been visiting with other family siblings in the northwest. Her support needs have been gradually increasing and her presence in their homes has revealed this and concerned them. So there is a family-wide discussion as to whether it is right for her to live in Yuma 'alone' any longer (where I am necessarily often gone for weeks at a time), and assisted-living options are being explored in the northwest. The impact of the potential changes is that I am now starting to look at a future that might be free for the first time in years of 'family duties'. That these 'duties' have been grounding for me and allowed for much growth, yes-yes,…. AND….
Anyway, my friend Steven Walters has a song "Where do I go from here, Lord…?". I'm now back in Yuma waiting for the answer to that...(but with a lot of painting and other work to get done in the meantime…). So onward we go.... We all have a world waiting for our love.
May your hours and days this week, this month be the truest ones you have yet lived. And as a result, may the light of love enter and heal all beings.
